{"id":97,"date":"2019-12-07T05:02:24","date_gmt":"2019-12-07T05:02:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/?p=97"},"modified":"2019-12-07T05:02:24","modified_gmt":"2019-12-07T05:02:24","slug":"december-7th-tequila-by-chocolate-egg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/?p=97","title":{"rendered":"December 7th- Tequila by Chocolate Egg"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2018Twas the night before Christmas and Starsky & Hutch
\nWere drinking Tequila; they\u2019d had a bit much.<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Our boys were planted on the couch in Starsky\u2019s apartment; at least he had a tree. Someone had gifted them a bottle of Tequila\u2013something of which they didn\u2019t usually partake. But it seemed to go well with the pizza. They decided it would be ungrateful not to finish it that night. Their conversation took a turn for the worse.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Hutch. How do reindeer fly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey use their wings.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t have wings.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t fly, either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut . . . never mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

Starsky handed the bottle to Hutch. \u201cHey, Hutch. Which burns longer, a red Christmas candle or a green Christmas candle?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. I guess it would depend on how tall or wide they are and what they\u2019re made of because . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re weird, you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I give up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither. They both burn shorter.\u201d Starsky laughed at his wittiness.<\/p>\n

Hutch gave him a dirty look, then chuckled. \u201cYou got me there, partner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Hutch. Where does a snowman keep his money?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre we gonna do this all night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so. Come on, where does a snowman keep his money?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, gimme a minute.\u201d Hutch closed his eyes and fake snored.<\/p>\n

\u201cAw come on, Hutch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I was thinking. How about this: a snow bank.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSmartass.\u201d<\/p>\n

Companionable silence for a while.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Hutch. What did the snowman give his girlfriend when he asked her to marry him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA carrot?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA lump of coal!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not very romantic.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCoal can be ground into a diamond. For the engagement ring!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou made that up, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. Pretty clever, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMmm\u2026 Hey Starsk, where do snowmen go to dance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmmm. I know this one. Uh . . . a discsnow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t even make sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, I give up!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA snow ball.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got a better one. How do you tell the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSnowballs,\u201d Hutch answered. \u201cThat was easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYup!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did the cop say when he saw a snowman stealing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFreeze!\u201d<\/p>\n

Their laughter was heartier than the conversation warranted. They took a moment to catch their breath.<\/p>\n

Then Starsky began again. \u201cThere once was a snowman named Frosty.\u201d<\/p>\n

A long pause.<\/p>\n

\u201cForget it, Starsk. You\u2019ll never come up with two words that rhyme with \u2018Frosty\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure I will. \u2018Losty.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not a word.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEver hear of poetic license?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. Ever hear of poetic \u2018that\u2019s dumb\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere once was a snowman named Frosty. Who wandered around and got losty.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch had to laugh at the \u2018so there\u2019 look on Starsky\u2019s face. \u201cOkay, I guess that works. Keep going.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think I won\u2019t? Cuz I will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moments passed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I got something different. There once was a man made of snow
\nWho didn\u2019t know which way to go.
\nShould he date girls or should he date boys?
\nNeither. He loved Hutch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Starsky waited till Hutch opened his mouth to object. \u201cDonch\u2019a know.\u201d He laughed.<\/p>\n

Hutch rolled his eyes and handed the bottle to Starsky.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Starsk, why did the snowman pull down his pants?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know but he\u2019s gonna freeze his . . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch cut him off. \u201cHe heard the snow blower coming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell drop your drawers and call me \u2018Toro\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey make snow blowers. Now shut up and let me do my job.\u201d<\/p>\n

Eventually it was a silent night.<\/p>\n

(Did they have snow blowers in the \u201870s? Who cares? ? )<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018Twas the night before Christmas and Starsky & Hutch Were drinking Tequila; they\u2019d had a bit much. Our boys were planted on the couch in Starsky\u2019s apartment; at least he had a tree. Someone had gifted them a bottle of … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,9,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-97","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-sfw","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=97"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":239,"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97\/revisions\/239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=97"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=97"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2019\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=97"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}