{"id":72,"date":"2020-12-04T05:28:09","date_gmt":"2020-12-04T05:28:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=72"},"modified":"2020-12-04T05:28:09","modified_gmt":"2020-12-04T05:28:09","slug":"december-4th-instruction-manual-for-kenneth-hutchinson-by-mm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=72","title":{"rendered":"December 4th- Instruction Manual for Kenneth Hutchinson by M&M"},"content":{"rendered":"

Or, how to maintain and fine-tune a lifelong best ever partner-in-all-ways<\/em><\/p>\n

The fastest way to short circuit (in the good way) Hutch\u2019s brain is to run my fingernails up the back of his thighs. The funnest way is Starsky Logic. The longest way is a warm, wet tongue applied to every inch of him except<\/em> his magnum. Just remember doing this can cause it to go off without warning and he packs a lot of ammo, so make him clean the mirror. And my hair. The crudest way is to moon him. (Hoping it\u2019ll get to the point Hutch can\u2019t roll his eyes without getting an erection.)<\/p>\n

As annoying as it can get, praise Hutch using that ‘positronic reinforcement’ like the K9 squad uses (a kiss for Hutch; not a kibble or bits) when he quotes Shakespeare or that Arab guy among other word-heavy dudes. (That Arab, Kahili Gibbon, wrote something like, \u201cMy life is more important than yours because you are my life\u201d – Hutch said he kinda shortened it a bit. Melted me like a chocolate bar in the hot sun and then I let him lick me…) When he whispers \u201cMe and Thee\u201d in my ear while he\u2019s stroking my hair after our lovin\u2019, I can feel his breath all the way down to my toenails. Who knows what else he\u2019s got in that big brain of his that\u2019ll tickle my fancy and my nuts?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t mention you know about Hutch\u2019s Monty Python\u2019s Flying Circus video cassettes. The guy does deserve some<\/em> secrets. Ideas: get him some Spam for his next birthday; talk him into getting a parrot. (Note to self: teach the freakin\u2019 bird the \u2018I\u2019m a Lumberjack\u2019 song.)<\/p>\n

Hutch\u2019s song book is his version of a personal journal, but more honest, so only tell him you really like those songs. That\u2019s honest, too, \u2018cause he\u2019s never written a crummy one.<\/p>\n

I swear he\u2019ll pick a fight just to have sex both ways \u2013 angry then make up. Of course, let \u2018im. (I ain\u2019t no dummy.)<\/p>\n

Keep a list of subjects that get him going, just in case he can\u2019t get fractious on his own. Some things that can always get his tongue and motor going (first one way, then the other):<\/p>\n