{"id":612,"date":"2012-12-24T03:36:23","date_gmt":"2012-12-24T03:36:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/?p=612"},"modified":"2012-12-24T15:11:18","modified_gmt":"2012-12-24T15:11:18","slug":"december-24th-one-wrong-step-by-rosemary-aka-tira-nog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/?p=612","title":{"rendered":"December 24th- One Wrong Step By Rosemary (AKA Tira Nog)"},"content":{"rendered":"

“There must be some mistake.\u00a0 I have a reservation,” Ken Hutchinson said into the phone, doing his best to keep his guitar balanced on top of his duffle bag in the tiny airport phone booth.\u00a0 Outside his booth, the last of the unfortunate travelers trapped on his Chicago flight were making their way through the deserted Newark baggage claim to the equally empty cabstand.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

“Sir, your reservation wasn’t secured by a credit card.\u00a0 The clerk explained when you booked your room that you would need to call for late arrival,” the harassed reservation clerk repeated.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

“I was stuck on the runway at O’Hare for four hours.\u00a0 There was no way to call,” Hutch explained for the third time.<\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m sorry, sir.\u00a0 We had to give your reservation to a paying customer.\u00a0 Good luck and happy holidays.” The woman hung up on him.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah, right,” Hutch muttered, doing his best not to slam the phone down.\u00a0 Two a.m. in Newark Airport.\u00a0 He couldn’t imagine a less likely setting for happy holidays.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The bus he’d planned on taking into New York’s Port Authority to catch the subway to take him to his Queens hotel had stopped running two hours ago.\u00a0 Now, he was going to have to take a cab.\u00a0 Not that he had anywhere to go.\u00a0 The board behind the unmanned hotel reservation desk across from the baggage carousel had shown all the hotels booked solid.\u00a0 That snowstorm over Chicago had stranded thousands of travelers.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch pulled out his wallet, knowing before he even opened it that he probably didn’t have enough to swing a cab from Newark to Manhattan.\u00a0 While he was counting the bills, his gaze was distracted by a slender brunette wearing a fluffy rabbit-skin jacket just like the one that had been with Van’s effects when he’d had to ID her in the morgue.\u00a0 The woman looked so much like his dead ex that it was eerie.\u00a0 She gave him a smile as she strutted past, but he couldn’t even manage a polite nod in return.<\/span><\/p>\n

He’d given up his whole life for that face and body \u2013 and it hadn’t been enough.\u00a0 He’d done everything humanely possible to keep his marriage afloat.\u00a0 He’d dropped out of the Bay City Police Academy, gone back to law school, passed his Bar, done the intern’s shuffle for two years, and Van had still left him for greener pastures.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But that was ancient history.\u00a0 These days, Hutch lived his life the way he wanted.\u00a0 He’d left the law firm a week after Van filed for divorce.\u00a0 He’d thought about going back to the Academy, but his time in the law firm had soured him on the criminal justice system.\u00a0 And, he’d missed his chance.\u00a0 Starsky and Colby were no doubt detectives by now.\u00a0 He would have been ten years older than the other recruits and, while he probably could have done it, his passion was gone.\u00a0 Yet, when he thought back on his days in the Academy, he realized they were the best days of his life. \u00a0How pathetic, he thought as he picked up his gear and cleared out of the phone booth.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dismissing those melancholic thoughts from his mind, Hutch tried to figure out a game plan.\u00a0 Turning his back on the money-grubbing lifestyle Van and his parents had picked out for him had made him feel like his own man. However, not being able to make cab fare was getting old.\u00a0 Or maybe he was just getting old.\u00a0 He didn’t know.\u00a0 All he knew was that he was bone tired from the exhausting delays, his gig wasn’t for two days, and he didn’t have anywhere to sleep in the most dangerous city in the country.<\/span><\/p>\n

The terminal was now completely empty.\u00a0 The place felt like the set for a serial killer movie.\u00a0 Without all those bodies moving frantically about in the enclosed space, the deserted baggage area was cold, too.\u00a0 He pulled his sheepskin jacket closer to him, closed the buttons, pushed his dangling brown Stetson up on his head, and headed towards the nearest seat.<\/span><\/p>\n

It took a few minutes to find the bus schedule in his backpack, but he finally located it stuffed in the middle of his Christmas song book.\u00a0 As he’d suspected, the first bus to Manhattan didn’t run until 7 AM.\u00a0 Sighing at the way his luck seemed to be running lately, Hutch settled into his seat for a long, cold wait.<\/span><\/p>\n

*~*~*<\/span><\/p>\n

Predictably enough, his dreams brought him back to happier times.<\/span><\/p>\n

It had been years since Hutch had seen the Bay City Police Academy dorm, but the room he’d shared with Starsky still looked exactly the same:\u00a0 Starsky’s side as neat as a pin, a picture of his mother and younger brother on the nightstand; Hutch’s own looking like a tornado had hit it, clothes and books scattered around the twin bed and nightstand, the guitar under the bed the only really personal thing in the mess.\u00a0 Looking at the dream scene now, Hutch was struck by the fact that there wasn’t a picture of Van on his nightstand.\u00a0 Somehow, that small oversight took on strange significance viewed more than a decade down the line.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch was standing beside his bed, stuffing dirty clothes in his duffel bag when the door flew open and a breathless Starsky charged in.\u00a0 His roommate’s cheeks were flushed, his red tee shirt soaked with perspiration, as if he’d run all the way from the gym to get here.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Colby said that you were leav\u2013” Starsky’s words cut off as he took in what Hutch was doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah,” Hutch said, concentrating on stuffing his dirty socks in the bag, knowing what would be waiting when he met those eyes staring at his back.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Are you nuts?\u00a0 We’re less than three weeks away from graduation.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“And I’m less than three hours from the divorce court,” Hutch said hollowly, still ripped apart by the choice he was being forced to make.<\/span><\/p>\n

“You think quittin’ the Academy is gonna change that?” Starsky moved to stand beside him, his voice soft and no longer angry. He stood so close that Hutch could smell sunshine and sweat on him.<\/span><\/p>\n

The audible compassion drew Hutch’s gaze to his friend, despite his intention to avoid this scene.\u00a0 “Van met me for lunch today.\u00a0 I’ve . . . never seen her like that.\u00a0 She said if I weren’t home by six, she’d be on a plane by seven.\u00a0 She meant it, Starsk.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“So, you’re gonna give up the chance of a lifetime to \u2013 “<\/span><\/p>\n

“Save my marriage,” Hutch cut Starsky off.\u00a0 “She’s my wife.\u00a0 It’s not just about what I want.\u00a0 I’ve got to \u2013 “<\/span><\/p>\n

“To what?\u00a0 What are you gonna do if you leave the Academy?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch drew a deep breath.\u00a0 “The next term in law school starts in September.\u00a0 I still have time to register.\u00a0 I can be a prosecuting attorney and make sure the scum you bust go down for life.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“She’s got it all worked out for you, huh?” Starsky’s bitterness was a tangible presence.\u00a0 “You know those suits spend ninety percent of their time making deals with the defense to get the creeps off.\u00a0 That isn’t you, Hutch.\u00a0 You’re the best recruit this damn Academy’s got.\u00a0 You can’t throw it all away because Vanessa had a hissy fit.\u00a0 Put the bag down.\u00a0 She’ll cool off by tomorrow.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“And if she doesn’t?\u00a0 If she gets on that plane?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Then maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” Starsky’s gentle voice always made Hutch feel better.\u00a0 “You told me how rocky it’s been between you \u2013 how much you’ve been fighting the past few years.\u00a0 Do you really think walking away from your dream is going to be enough to satisfy her?\u00a0 I’ve only met her a couple of times, Hutch, and I mean no offense to your lady, but Vanessa doesn’t strike me as the kind to be satisfied until she’s living in one of those Beverly Hills mansions next to the stars.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch wished he could be mad at the appraisal, but, as usual, Starsky was dead on when it came to scoping out someone’s personality.\u00a0 Starsk hadn’t come out and called her a gold digger like Colby had, but they both knew that was what Starsky thought of her.\u00a0 Subtlety had never been his roommate’s strong suit.\u00a0 Taking a deep breath, Hutch said, “I’m never gonna get her there on a cop’s salary.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You think she’s gonna be content to wait it out ’til you get outta law school?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I can take an accelerated course up at Berkley.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You gonna get an accelerated internship, too?\u00a0 Interns don’t make much more than cops.\u00a0 You know how long it’s gonna be before you’re making that kinda dough.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I know,” Hutch said.\u00a0 “But I have to try.\u00a0 I made a vow three years ago.\u00a0 ‘Til death do us part.\u00a0 I’m not going to be the one who wrecks our marriage by being selfish.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I know how important that is to you and I respect you for it, but . . . I think you’re making a major mistake here, buddy.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Maybe.” In his bones, he feared Starsky was right.\u00a0 Every time a concession had to be made in their marriage, it seemed he was always the one who had to make it.\u00a0 But it wasn’t Van’s fault that he’d finally figured out he wasn’t the man she’d married.\u00a0 She still hadn’t forgiven him for walking away from his father’s company.\u00a0 She hadn’t signed on to be a pauper’s wife.\u00a0 He’d chosen to walk away from the Hutchinson fortune, so it was his duty to make it up to her somehow.\u00a0 “But I still have to try.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“How are we gonna be partners if you do this?\u00a0 You know we had it all planned out.\u00a0 A couple of years in uniform and then \u2013 “<\/span><\/p>\n

“It was all a pipedream, Starsk.\u00a0 You know they’d never let two young cops partner up as detectives.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You stay, and we’ll make it happen.\u00a0 I give you my solemn word on that.” Starsky’s promise had more sincerity than Van had managed when she’d repeated the “richer and poorer”<\/em> part of her oath.<\/span><\/p>\n

They’d been roommates for over five months.\u00a0 Hutch had clicked with this fiery New Yorker as he had with no other human being, including his wife.\u00a0 Meeting Starsky’s pleading blue eyes, his heart was torn.\u00a0 His every instinct told him Starsky was right, that giving into Van’s demand was only a stopgap measure and not a cure to the problems plaguing their marriage.\u00a0 But, if he didn’t leave the Academy, he wasn’t going to have a marriage.\u00a0 That much, he was sure of.<\/span><\/p>\n

“I can’t, Starsk, I’m sorry.\u00a0 I can’t lose her.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Why?”<\/span><\/p>\n

The simple word froze him.\u00a0 “What?\u00a0 What do you mean ‘why’?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“How long’s it been since you went a whole day or even an hour with Van without fighting over something?”\u00a0 Starsky had clearly seen enough of Van and his interaction to know the score.<\/span><\/p>\n

“That’s not the point.\u00a0 She’s my wife.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You told me yourself how miserable you’ve been for years, that being in the Academy was the first thing that felt right to you in forever.\u00a0 Do you think you’re really going to be happy with someone who’s blackmailing you into giving up something you love that much just to get her way?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch couldn’t lie to those eyes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“She’s bluffing, Hutch.\u00a0 She’s not gonna leave you.\u00a0 Stay here this weekend.\u00a0 Let things cool down some, then talk to her on Monday.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“And if she takes that plane out of here tonight?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You won’t be alone.\u00a0 I promise you.”\u00a0 That oh-so-tempting solid-as-stone sincerity was there again in Starsky’s eyes and voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Needing to lighten the heavy scene, Hutch joked, “What are you going to do?\u00a0 Move in with me?\u00a0 Keep house for me and share my bed?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Something incomprehensible sparked in Starsky’s bright eyes before he answered in a dead serious tone. “If that’s what it takes to keep you from screwing up your life.\u00a0 And, you know for a fact that I’ll keep house better than Vanessa ever did.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsk had a gift for making him laugh.\u00a0 Hutch chuckled at the absurd proposition, but his merriment slowly faded when he realized Starsky wasn’t sharing it.\u00a0 He wasn’t joking.<\/span><\/p>\n

If this had been John Colby or any of the other Academy recruits, the scene would have taken on a creepy connotation, but Hutch knew this man well enough to trust that there wasn’t anything unwholesome in the offer.\u00a0 Starsky was just following his heart like he always did and clearly hadn’t thought through how his words might be misinterpreted.\u00a0 Loving his friend very much at that moment, and aching because he knew no matter how hard they tried, they would never be this close again once he left the Academy, Hutch cocked an eyebrow and asked, “And the sharing my bed part?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky blinked at the question.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch nearly grinned, watching as his roommate replayed what Hutch had actually said and realized where his impetuous offer had left him.<\/span><\/p>\n

“You promise not to hog the covers, and we’ll work something out,” Starsky said, holding his gaze without a trace of humor or fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch’s smile dropped from his face, his throat and stomach tightening with emotion when this incredible man refused to back down.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky spoke into the silence. “We’re meant to be partners.\u00a0 You know that.\u00a0 Don’t throw everything away for someone who doesn’t care about your happiness.” \u00a0Starsky’s hand settled on his shoulder, giving him the same kind of bracing, encouraging squeeze he’d given him a dozen times in the last few months when they’d faced difficult tests.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch’s nerves were vibrating so fiercely, he felt like he was going to shatter.\u00a0 That touch finished him.\u00a0 He fell, as if from a great height, into Starsky’s arms.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky hugged him tight, rubbing his back, murmuring over and over that everything was going to be all right.\u00a0 The emotion was so pure, so bright, it felt like coming home.\u00a0 Hutch hugged back with all his might, something inside him knowing that once he stepped away from this embrace that all warmth would vanish from his life.\u00a0 Standing there, basking in Starsky’s caring, Hutch tried to remember the last time he’d felt anything like this with Van.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His already shaky mind jittered to a screeching halt at another cliff edge when he realized he was actively comparing this man to his wife.\u00a0 The fact that his wife was coming up wanting was in no way reassuring.<\/span><\/p>\n

What the hell was he doing?\u00a0 What was Starsky thinking saying that kind of stuff to him?\u00a0 His roommate had volunteered to stand in for his wife in both the housekeeping and bedroom departments.\u00a0 Every instinct he had was telling him that Starsky hadn’t meant any of his words as a come on, but . . . who the hell said those kinds of things to their buddy?\u00a0 They were pressed together tighter than lovers.\u00a0 If anyone walked in on them now, there would be no question about Hutch staying.\u00a0 They’d both be tossed out on their asses for conduct unbecoming an officer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Raw panic shooting through him, Hutch pulled back.\u00a0 His breathing as ragged as if he’d just run ten miles, he rasped in a breath and stared in shock at Starsky’s equally astonished face.\u00a0 For all that Starsky was a major toucher, they’d never hugged that way before.\u00a0 It was clear that Starsky had felt the same things he had.<\/span><\/p>\n

In another world, Hutch knew he might have been a better man.\u00a0 In that perfect world, he would have found the courage to face the feelings that hug had brought to life \u2013 the almost sexual thrill that was still singing through him.\u00a0 But in this imperfect reality, he couldn’t handle this development, not on top of all the stress of dealing with Van’s ultimatum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The emotion was too much; he shut it down.\u00a0 He had years of experience at closing himself away and putting on his game face \u2013 first in his father’s house and more recently in his daily skirmishes with Van.\u00a0 But never had it hurt this much.<\/span><\/p>\n

Assuming what he’d always thought of as the Hutchinson Freeze when his father did it to him, Hutch said, “I can’t do this.\u00a0 I’ll come pick up my stuff tomorrow morning when you’re at class.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch forced himself to stay strong and distant as the hope died in Starsky’s eyes.\u00a0 He’d never seen his friend look that crushed.\u00a0 He couldn’t remember being that important to anyone before.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky stared for a long moment, his silent accusation and disappointment clear before saying in a tight voice, “You’re gonna regret this decision for your entire life.\u00a0 You know that, don’t you?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch nodded.\u00a0 “I know.\u00a0 I still have to try.”<\/span><\/p>\n

And with those final, pitiful words, Hutch shot out the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

The memory had been so vivid that Hutch had forgotten he was dreaming.\u00a0 When he stepped out of the dorm, the dreamscape altered.\u00a0 Gone was the boring, institutional hall outside that room.\u00a0 Instead of beige walls with police-oriented posters, Hutch found himself in a winter forest.\u00a0 A blizzard was raging around him.\u00a0 There was nothing but tall pines as far as he could see.\u00a0 It was beautiful in a wild, dangerous way, but cold enough to freeze his blood.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wind battered him and threw stinging snow in his eyes.\u00a0 He lifted his hand to brush the snow away and banged his guitar into his head.\u00a0 Smarting under the painful impact, he realized he was only wearing his usual cowboy boots, jeans, sheepskin jacket, and Stetson, and carrying his guitar.\u00a0 He had no clue where his duffle was or how he’d ended up in this wild wood.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shivering, Hutch looked for a trail, but he seemed to be deep in the wilderness.\u00a0 There was nothing manmade in sight, only wind, snow, ice, trees, and stone.\u00a0 He had no idea where he was, where he was going, or why he was here.<\/span><\/p>\n

Concentrating, Hutch tried to wake himself up, but the winter-locked wood around him refused to vanish.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shaking with cold, he realized he would have to find shelter fast, before he froze to death.\u00a0 His leather boots weren’t designed for this kind of weather.\u00a0 The snow was halfway up his calves and falling heavily.\u00a0 His toes throbbed in agony as the snow underfoot leeched the heat out of them.\u00a0 He had gloves, but they were in his backpack, which seemed to have disappeared with his duffle.\u00a0 His blood red fingers holding his guitar case were starting to ache as well.\u00a0 He prayed that this intense cold wouldn’t warp his guitar.<\/span><\/p>\n

Recognizing the first signs of frostbite, Hutch staggered between the towering pines.\u00a0 The snow was so deep, he couldn’t see what he was stepping on.\u00a0 He prayed there weren’t any holes or covered streams. Trying not to panic, he realized the sun was setting.\u00a0 The trees were so thick, he couldn’t see the horizon, not that it would matter in the middle of this raging blizzard.\u00a0 All there was was white in front of him, behind him, above and below.\u00a0 He came to an abrupt halt when he stumbled right into a small tree that was completely buried.<\/span><\/p>\n

As his face landed in the scratchy pine, the top of his guitar case crashed through the snow-heavy branches.\u00a0 A small bird chittered in terror and skittered away through the deepening shadows.<\/span><\/p>\n

“If you’re not more careful, young bard, you’re going to severely injure yourself or one of my children,” a pleasant female voice said from behind him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch spun at the sound.\u00a0 Already unsteady, he ended up on his butt in the snow, staring up at the speaker in astonishment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If he’d had any doubts that he was trapped in a dream, this figure would have confirmed that.\u00a0 She was tall and slender, clothed chin to foot in a flowing green velvet robe with bright colors embroidered on the trim.\u00a0 Her hair was white, flowing down to her waist, her eyes were blue as his own, and her skin milky and smooth.\u00a0 She wore a holly wreath around her head like a crown.\u00a0 He sucked in a breath of the freezing air as he realized that the icicles dangling from her headpiece were real.<\/span><\/p>\n

“W-who ar-r-re y-you?” he questioned through chattering teeth.<\/span><\/p>\n

Though not unfriendly, there was little warmth in her smile.\u00a0 “It’s not considered polite here to ask that kind of question of a stranger.\u00a0 Has no one told you that names have power?”<\/span><\/p>\n

He shook his head. “Why am I here?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Men have been asking that question since the dawn of time.\u00a0 There isn’t any response that can adequately answer it.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Are you tr-rying to be funny?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“No.\u00a0 But there is a certain irony to the situation.” Her blue eyes studied him with open curiosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Irony?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You plop yourself in the middle of my wood, terrify one of my children \u2013 “<\/span><\/p>\n

“Are you talking about the bird?” Hutch was mystified.\u00a0 It was the only other living creature he’d met since arriving in this dismal, frozen slice of Hell.<\/span><\/p>\n

“He lives here.\u00a0 You are an uninvited visitor.\u00a0 You need to have more respect.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Realizing that she was completely serious, Hutch tried to keep the pique out of his voice. “I didn’t mean to frighten him.\u00a0 It wasn’t intentional.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“And, yet, you made no apology.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“To the bird? \u00a0Lady, unless it’s escaped your notice, I’m in real trouble here.” Hutch could barely keep his voice the right side of civil.<\/span><\/p>\n

“So it seems. That’s why I stopped to talk to you.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Did you bring me here?” \u00a0Hutch still had no idea where here was.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Your choices brought you here.”<\/span><\/p>\n

A different type of chill spread through him.\u00a0 He had the sudden memory of old Ebenezer being condemned to an icy purgatory in the musical version of Scrooge.\u00a0 Not sure he wanted the answer, he asked, “Am I dead?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Not physically.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“What other way is there to be dead?” He was too cold to deal with word games.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Some would say that a man’s spiritual life is as important as his physical life.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“So you’re saying I’m spiritually<\/em> dead?”\u00a0 Somehow, that didn’t sound a hell of a lot better than being physically dead.<\/span><\/p>\n

“No.\u00a0 Those beyond hope do not come here.\u00a0 You still have a chance.” Her answer had the first trace of warmth.<\/span><\/p>\n

“A chance to do what?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“That’s up to you, isn’t it?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“If you didn’t bring me here and I’m not dead, then how did I get here?” Hutch tried to make sense of this insane situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

“It is only Seekers who are drawn here.\u00a0 I would suggest your spirit is searching for something.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“What?\u00a0 I’m not searching for anything.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Aren’t you?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I was on my way to a gig, fell asleep in the airport, and ended up here.\u00a0 All I’m searching for is a way out of this crazy place.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“This crazy place<\/em>, as you call it, is a reflection.”<\/span><\/p>\n

This was getting weirder and more frustrating by the second.\u00a0 “A reflection of what?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Your soul.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“My what?\u00a0 This is nuts.”\u00a0 Hutch gave up on politeness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Those who come here who are happy and fulfilled, seeking only spiritual guidance find this place a lush, summer wood.\u00a0 The more empty a Seeker’s soul, the more inhospitable this place becomes.” Her tone held no censure; it was as matter-of-fact as if she were telling a stranger where the bus stopped nearby.<\/span><\/p>\n

“My soul is not a frozen forest.”\u00a0 Hutch was ready to storm off, but realized he had no place to go.<\/span><\/p>\n

“No?\u00a0 Who loves you?” Her question had a challenging tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

“W-what?” he stammered.<\/span><\/p>\n

“A soul is measured by the love it gives and receives in turn.\u00a0 Your people’s most important holiday will take place in a few days.\u00a0 Who are you spending it with?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I booked a show in New York so I could spend the holiday touring the seasonal sites,” Hutch said, getting really angry.<\/span><\/p>\n

“And the last holiday, where did you spend that?”\u00a0 It was like she knew the answer before he gave it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Feeling his cheeks heat from something other than wind burn, Hutch thought of the Chinese restaurant in Chicago where he’d spent Thanksgiving.\u00a0 “I’m a musician.\u00a0 I’m on the road most of the time.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Other bards travel together as a musical family, so that when they are away from blood kin, there is still love in their life.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m not part of a band,” Hutch said.\u00a0 “That doesn’t mean I don’t have love in my life.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“No?\u00a0 So, who loves you, young bard?\u00a0 Even a dog or cat’s love would be sufficient to turn this land into a paradise.\u00a0 But here you are in a frozen wilderness of your own making, with no one to your name, no one to know you are lost and in need of help, no one to miss you.\u00a0 The only thing that is keeping you from complete despair is your instrument, but even that is losing its hold on you.” Once again, there was no accusation in her tone.\u00a0 She sounded sad.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything inside him wanted to protest her assessment, to tell her to stuff her metaphysical gibberish and just tell him how to get back to civilization.\u00a0 But the part of him that gave birth to his music was listening and believing.\u00a0 That scared him more than this deadly wilderness.<\/span><\/p>\n

When he made no response, she continued in a gentle tone. “Because you serve us by spreading joy through your music, I have been sent to warn you.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Who is it you think I serve?\u00a0 Who are you?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“We both fight on the side of Light.\u00a0 The fact that you don’t know that should tell you how much danger you are in.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch digested that in silence before echoing, “The side of Light.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“In all your spirit walks, you have always been among our staunchest defenders.\u00a0 You have taken a misstep in this walk, pledging yourself to the wrong partner.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Her use of the word ‘partner’ brought his previous dream to mind.\u00a0 “Are you talking about Starsky?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“That spirit has walked by your side through nearly all of your journeys.\u00a0\u00a0 You are not the only one who has been hurt by your misstep.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch’s gaze jumped from her face to the snow-riven forest around them. \u00a0“Is Starsky lost somewhere out here?\u00a0 He’s a city boy.\u00a0 He doesn’t know anything about the woods.”<\/span><\/p>\n

His worry for his old friend brought the first smile to here regal, pale features.\u00a0 “No.\u00a0 He is not lost in the wilderness.\u00a0 That spirit has always known how to call love to itself.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Thank God.”\u00a0 Something in Hutch relaxed.\u00a0 He might still be in dire straits himself, but at least Starsky wasn’t blundering around alone slowly freezing to death.<\/span><\/p>\n

“We offer you a chance now to set things back on course.\u00a0 Do you accept this gift of your own free will?”\u00a0 Her voice and face were even more solemn and earnest than they’d been throughout this bizarre conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Is there a price to this gift?”\u00a0 Nothing in their interaction had given him cause to trust her.<\/span><\/p>\n

“You will have to leave this wasteland behind.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“And my music?” he asked, a little panicked, not sure what a person who could bring him to this savage wilderness might also be capable of.\u00a0 There was a fairy tale-like air to this meeting.\u00a0 The one thing he remembered about traditional fairy tales was that they didn’t usually end happily. \u00a0Would he wake up tomorrow and not be able to play?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Your music is part of you.\u00a0 No one but you can take it from you.\u00a0 Fare well, young bard.”<\/span><\/p>\n

And with those words, the snow-locked forest around him faded to black.<\/span><\/p>\n

*~*~*<\/span><\/p>\n

“Hutch?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch started awake in panic at the soft, questioning sound.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He half expected to see that blizzard-locked wildwood around him, but he was perched uncomfortably on one of the ugly orange plastic chairs in Newark Airport’s baggage claim area.\u00a0 No blizzard, no tall pines, no Snow Queen, just a blessedly normal, impersonal airport.<\/span><\/p>\n

Still, the voice was familiar.\u00a0 He’d heard it in his dreams enough over the last decade.<\/span><\/p>\n

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, it took his groggy mind a moment to recognize the grinning man with the dark curls standing in front of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Starsky<\/em>???”\u00a0 Incredulous, he jumped to his feet, holding his hand out, part of him believing he was still dreaming.\u00a0 At least this was a sweet dream.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky stared at his outstretched hand for a moment, laughed, and said, “A handshake ain’t gonna do it, old buddy,” and flung his arms around Hutch to draw him into a tight hug.<\/span><\/p>\n

The impulsive move was so in character with the man Hutch remembered.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That regal woman he’d met in the forest hadn’t been far off in her assessment of his life.\u00a0 Hutch couldn’t recall the last time anyone had hugged him.\u00a0 He’d been on the road for most of the last six years, playing solo gigs.\u00a0 Occasionally, he’d had one night stands, but human contact was rare.\u00a0 He basked in the warmth of his old friend, breathing in the scents of sandalwood and Starsky.\u00a0 Those arms clutched him like they’d never let go, which was fine with him.\u00a0 The trauma of being lost in the woods during a hazardous storm might have been nothing more than a dream, but emotionally, it had felt real.\u00a0 He was still shaking inside, and not from the cold.<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, Starsky pulled reluctantly away, still laughing.<\/span><\/p>\n

It had been nearly twelve years, but David Starsky hadn’t changed much.\u00a0 Still trim and fit, the tight blue jeans his old friend wore looked like they were going to cut circulation off to some important parts, but they suited his lithe figure.\u00a0 As a concession to the freezing weather, Starsky wore an old brown bomber jacket, bright red scarf, and a Mets’ baseball cap.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“My God, it is so good to see you, Hutch.\u00a0 You just disappeared off the planet after you left the Academy.\u00a0 Once I got my badge, I ran you through DMV.\u00a0 San Francisco, wasn’t it?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“For a while,” Hutch said.\u00a0 “Van loved it there.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“How’s she doing?” Starsky’s gaze made a quick scan of the area, as if searching for her.<\/span><\/p>\n

“She, ah, died about four years ago.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Damn, I’m sorry, man.” Starsky wore the expression any caring person might after receiving such startling news, and reached out to squeeze his arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

“We’d been divorced a long time by then,” Hutch said.\u00a0 Figuring he ought to say it straight out, he added, “You were right about her.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Some things you’d rather be wrong about.\u00a0 So, what are you doing here in scenic Newark?” Starsky gave him another of those crooked grins, obviously trying to lighten the mood.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Waiting for the bus to the Port Authority.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky looked confused.\u00a0 “That doesn’t start running again ’til morning.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I know.” Hutch smiled.\u00a0 “I got delayed in Chicago and my hotel gave my reservation away.\u00a0 I’m just waiting ’til morning to start shopping for another hotel.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Forget the hotel,” Starsky said.\u00a0 “I got a spare room you can use.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Starsky, you don’t have to \u2013 “<\/span><\/p>\n

“What haveta<\/em>?\u00a0 I haven’t seen you in a million years.\u00a0 You sure as hell ain’t spendin’ the night in an airport lounge when I’ve got a spare room.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You live here in Newark?” Hutch asked.\u00a0 It had been years, but he was fairly certain Starsky came from New York, not New Jersey.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Because we’re friends, I’ll forget you asked that question,” Starsky said with another huge smile.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“You’re not in LA anymore?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“No. Ma got sick a few years back.\u00a0 I came back east to take care of her ’til she passed.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky had called his mother every Friday night when they’d roomed together in the Academy.\u00a0 Colby used to razz him for it, but Hutch had always envied their sweet relationship.\u00a0 “Sorry.\u00a0 I remember how close you were.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah.\u00a0 The place has been pretty empty since she’s gone,” Starsky said, “so you’d be doing me a favor by staying.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Is your brother still living at home?” Hutch recalled the other family member he could remember Starsky talking about.\u00a0 Starsky had a boatload of aunts and uncles, a few of whom had lived in LA, but Hutch couldn’t think of any of their names.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Nicky got his sorry ass locked up for selling stolen goods.\u00a0 Then he got into a knife fight in Wallkill Prison that upped his sentence to fifteen years.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Jeez.”\u00a0 Hoping to change the subject without stepping into another conversational landmine, he asked, “Are you still on the Force?\u00a0 Did you move to NYPD?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky was quiet a moment, then said in a low voice, “My partner and I got shot during a syndicate hit in a restaurant a few years back.\u00a0 He didn’t make it.\u00a0 I couldn’t pass the medical review to go back to active duty.\u00a0 Mom got sick about the same time, so I just moved back here.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch couldn’t imagine how much that must have hurt this man who’d been so proud at making the grade at the Academy.<\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m so sorry.\u00a0 Sounds like you haven’t had an easy time of it.” Hutch felt guilty. Starsky had been a good a friend to him, but in twelve years he hadn’t called even once to see how Starsky was doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m still standing,” Starsky said.\u00a0 It should have been a joke, but there was something in Starsky’s face that made it a victory.<\/span><\/p>\n

They stared into each other’s eyes as the memories moved through them.\u00a0 Needing to break the silence, Hutch said, “Sometimes standing is all you can hope for.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah.\u00a0 But enough about me.\u00a0 What have you been up to?\u00a0 You don’t look much like a lawyer these days.” Starsky’s deep blue eyes gave him a quick once over.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“After Van split, I left the law firm.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Good.\u00a0 I could never picture you as a suit.”\u00a0 Starsky’s eyes fixed on the guitar case at his feet.\u00a0 “Can you play that thing?”<\/span><\/p>\n

The question startled him.\u00a0 His guitar was so much a part of him that he couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t played, but then Hutch remembered that, while he’d had the guitar stored under his bed at the Academy, he was usually too tired to play after training all day.\u00a0 The only time he’d actually practiced was on those rare occasions when he had the room to himself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing that Starsky was waiting for an answer, Hutch grinned.\u00a0 His music was the one thing he was sure of.\u00a0 “Oh, yeah.\u00a0 I can play.\u00a0 It’s. ah, how I make my living these days.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m doing a Winter Solstice Concert the day after tomorrow down in the Village.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“At St. John’s?” Starsky asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch nearly gaped.\u00a0 “I thought your tastes ran to R&B.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yep, they do.\u00a0 I had a fare there last year.\u00a0 Had to drop a harpist off at the concert.\u00a0 Have you ever tried to fit a concert harp into a cab?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch tried to conceal his shock.\u00a0 Starsky was a cab driver<\/em>?\u00a0 That just seemed too wrong for words.\u00a0 When he thought he could keep his feelings out of his voice, he asked as casually as possible, “You drive a cab now?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever was in his face made Starsky burst out laughing.\u00a0 “Not by necessity.\u00a0 After Mom passed, I was going nuts with nothing to do.\u00a0 One of the guys on my bowling team owns a cab company.\u00a0 He couldn’t find any decent drivers in a dry period, so I offered to help him out.\u00a0 I sorta like it.\u00a0 I meet a lot of interesting people and the hours are flexible.\u00a0 Most importantly, no one’s shooting at me on a regular basis.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I thought you said you lived in New York?\u00a0 People are always shooting at each other there, aren’t they?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Tread carefully there, cowboy,” Starsky warned with a wild waggle of his brows that made Hutch laugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

“God, you haven’t changed at all, Starsk.\u00a0 It is so good to see you!”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You, too.\u00a0 Hey, you like Christmas lights?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Who doesn’t?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m going to drive you over to Dyker Heights and show you the best Christmas lights in the world.\u00a0 Come on, let me take that bag for you.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch didn’t protest as Starsky commandeered his duffle.\u00a0 He quickly donned his backpack, picked up his guitar case, and fell into step beside his old friend.<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn’t know if what had transpired in his dream had really happened, but meeting Starsky again like this on the heels of that weird nightmare sure felt like a miracle.\u00a0 Feeling like he’d been offered a second chance, Hutch swore to himself that there’d be no more missteps.\u00a0 He didn’t know how, but he was determined to keep that promise he’d broken.\u00a0 Some way, somehow, they’d be partners again.\u00a0 He was going to make sure of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

The End<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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“There must be some mistake.\u00a0 I have a reservation,” Ken Hutchinson said into the phone, doing his best to keep his guitar balanced on top of his duffle bag in the tiny airport phone booth.\u00a0 Outside his booth, the last … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/612","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=612"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/612\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":675,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/612\/revisions\/675"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2012\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}