{"id":201,"date":"2014-12-13T14:58:11","date_gmt":"2014-12-13T14:58:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/?p=201"},"modified":"2014-12-13T14:58:11","modified_gmt":"2014-12-13T14:58:11","slug":"december-13th-christmas-rhetoric-by-kerrys2boys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/?p=201","title":{"rendered":"December 13th- Christmas Rhetoric by Kerrys2Boys"},"content":{"rendered":"

Am I gonna sit here all night and wait?<\/span><\/p>\n

Wait for what, Starsky? If you mean Christmas morning \u2013 you\u2019ll be waiting a while.<\/span><\/p>\n

No dumb head, an answer, Hutch, an answer for God\u2019s sake.<\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t a question. You just pointed out that it\u2019s less than a few days to Christmas, which it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

Not that. Not the bit about Christmas \u2013 but the question, Hutch. I only pointed out the bit about Christmas to drive home the point. The point to the question. The one you didn\u2019t answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh? I was supposed to answer you? I thought that was a rhetorical question you posed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Always gotta be the smart ass, Hutch, don\u2019t ya? I don\u2019t even know what \u2018rhetorical\u2019 means \u2013 well not for sure, anyway. So how would I ask you one of those?<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not being a smart ass \u2013 just think it\u2019s a question with no answer \u2013 or not one meant to be answered \u2013 rhetorical \u2013 at least not one that I have anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t even try. You didn\u2019t even give it a moment\u2019s thought. You just plain out ignored me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Where the hell is that frozen bag of peas I know I had stashed in the back of the freezer box?<\/span><\/p>\n

Like you just did again \u2013 see?<\/span><\/p>\n

See what, Starsky?<\/span><\/p>\n

Totally ignored me. Ignored that I said you didn\u2019t even try to answer the question.<\/span><\/p>\n

No \u2013 I believe I said that I had no answer to that question. Besides I didn\u2019t say anything else because I\u2019m looking for the peas – the peas I need right now because my leg is on fire.<\/span><\/p>\n

You need more than damn peas to help that leg. Have you taken those pain killers the doc gave you yet?<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t tell me you used it in your damn pizza sauce last night?<\/span><\/p>\n

Why would I need frozen peas for pizza sauce, huh? And who puts peas in pizza sauce? Jesus \u2013 peas in pizza sauce!<\/span><\/p>\n

Well they\u2019re not \u2013 oh \u2013 got \u2018em. Stuck to the roof of the freezer \u2013 frozen solid. Need to de-frost this hunk of shit some time\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sit down will ya\u2019, and put that leg up like you were told to do. I\u2019ll get the damn peas out \u2013 and I\u2019ll grab the bottle of painkillers. You look fit to drop.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m fine. Better than you look after the four beers you threw down in the last twenty minutes.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the only way I could cope. It\u2019s like those psychological things, ya\u2019 know \u2013 mechanical things \u2013 what are they, Hutch? You know \u2013 like the shrink is always talking about in our sessions?<\/span><\/p>\n

Mechanisms, they\u2019re called Coping Mechanisms, and you\u2019ve got nothing on me where they\u2019re concerned Starsk. I\u2019ve become the master of them all since\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t go there, Hutch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Go there? Some days I don\u2019t think I ever left there.<\/span><\/p>\n

Stop it. This is not about me. I\u2019m sitting here in pretty good shape.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah, and it was a long fuckin\u2019 road to get you to that shape.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m trying to talk about you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thought we were talking about you \u2013 you and your coping mechanisms.<\/span><\/p>\n

Only because of what you keep doin\u2019 to me that makes me need to use \u2018em. I\u2019m doin\u2019 just fine \u2013 I am just fine until you blow my mind with worry. Just lookin\u2019 at ya\u2019 is still makin\u2019 me nervous.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then don\u2019t be \u2013 it\u2019s over and I\u2019m in one piece.<\/span><\/p>\n

One piece I nearly had to scrape up off the street. I just keep seein\u2019 ya flyin\u2019 through the air.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, I can tell you it was a damn sight better flying through the air compared to when I hit the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hate your funny-man humor shit more than your smart-ass shit. You know that?<\/span><\/p>\n

Just trying to diffuse things here, buddy. Have another beer. You\u2019re too wound up.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll be less wound up if you swallow these painkillers and they help to put some color back in ya\u2019 pretty face. You\u2019re whiter than that Minnesota snow ya\u2019 love so much.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wish I had some of that snow and ice right now to pack around this leg. Where\u2019re my peas?<\/span><\/p>\n

Stuck solid to the roof of the freezer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Told you that already.<\/span><\/p>\n

You need to defrost that piece of junk you call a fridge, Hutch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Told you that, too. Doesn\u2019t help me with my lack of frozen peas though.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jeez, will ya’ just forget the goddamn peas. When those painkillers start to work, I\u2019ll run downstairs to the restaurant and ask that nice French lady for a bag of ice. She likes you \u2013 I\u2019m sure she\u2019ll give me a whole ice bucket full.<\/span><\/p>\n

Think she likes me enough to put a bottle of French champagne in with the ice?<\/span><\/p>\n

Even if she did, you can\u2019t drink it \u2013 not with those pills.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I get pills and you get beer. Hardly fair.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be serious. You\u2019ve got an injury. You know the rules Blintz, the one with the injury never gets the beers. Anyways \u2013 beer hasn\u2019t helped me none.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Anyways\u2019?<\/span><\/p>\n

Here it comes. What did I say now?<\/span><\/p>\n

Just that \u2018anyways\u2019 is not a word, Starsky.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh \u2013 quit the high-brow shit. You know what I\u2019m askin\u2019 here. You know what I mean. Don\u2019t give me that Hutchinson stuck up act, will ya? Not tonight, not tonight, okay?<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay. No Hutchison stuck up shit \u2013 just for you, Starsky. Promise. Though \u2013 I\u2019m not sure what it is you want me to tell you. And, I\u2019m not sure how tonight is any different than any other night.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s the whole freakin\u2019 point, Hutch. That\u2019s the problem.<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s the problem?<\/span><\/p>\n

The fact that tonight is no different than any other night. Bad things happenin\u2019 to us. Bad things happenin\u2019 to you. Look at you \u2013 all banged up, with frozen peas on your leg.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026Actually, I\u2019ve got no peas.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch!<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not all that bad. Doc said it would heal over \u2013 granulate in. Looks worse than it is. No muscle damage, just skin and maybe a bit of fat \u2013 sort of flayed off.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just skin and fat? Sorta like \u2013 what? Flayed off? What are you? A side of beef? A butcher\u2019s carcass?<\/span><\/p>\n

Human flesh is not much different than another flesh, Starsky \u2013 we all bleed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, that just makes me feel a whole lot better, Blondie.<\/span><\/p>\n

You heard him, Starsky.<\/span><\/p>\n

Who? Who\u2019d I hear?<\/span><\/p>\n

The doc in ER.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, you mean that opinionated, stick-up-his-ass, undergrad?<\/span><\/p>\n

He was a qualified intern. Has to be to be working in the Emergency Department of a hospital, Starsky.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure didn\u2019t look like it to me\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s nothing serious.<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s not serious? The fact that they\u2019ve got adolescents running our hospitals?<\/span><\/p>\n

You know what I mean. My condition \u2013 my leg. Nothing serious.<\/span><\/p>\n

Says who? What would he know? The kid wasn\u2019t old enough to sweat yet, let alone treat my partner. Telling me it was all right to bring you home when ya\u2019 should\u2019ve been put in a bed for the night, not allowed home to give me misery like you are.<\/span><\/p>\n

Will you stop being dramatic? It\u2019s the damn beer talking now. You\u2019re just emotional. Two weeks ago this was you \u2013 you with that grazed temple from the bullet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah, but my flesh wasn\u2019t \u2018flayed off,\u2019 and I didn\u2019t get tossed up in the air and bounced on the blacktop like you after some hit-and-run driver did a number on you with his front fender.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m alive. I\u2019m okay. It\u2019s alright in the end, Starsk.<\/span><\/p>\n

No, it\u2019s not. In the end, it seems to be getting worse and worse. I\u2019m damn tired of watchin\u2019 bits of you get broken and bent. I\u2019m tired of watchin\u2019 you like this \u2013 getting smaller and smaller every week as this job wears ya\u2019 down.<\/span><\/p>\n

And you don\u2019t think I feel exactly the same way watching you?<\/span><\/p>\n

I know you do. I know for sure you do, Hutch. But \u2013<\/span><\/p>\n

But what?<\/span><\/p>\n

You just don\u2019t ever seem to be able to ask the question. The one you said had no answer. The one you won\u2019t ask me because you\u2019re too afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n

Too afraid of what, Starsky?<\/span><\/p>\n

Too afraid of asking me what you\u2019ve wanted to ask me for the entire past year since I came back on the force.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you know the question then why do I need to ask it?<\/span><\/p>\n

Because, Hutch, because if you ask it out loud, look me straight in the eye when you finally do, I\u2019ll have to give you an answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a hard question, Starsky. Even harder to ask. I don\u2019t want to hurt you anymore than you\u2019ve already been hurt. You deserve so much more than you\u2019ve had in the last eighteen months.<\/span><\/p>\n

And you deserve to finally leave the place you haven\u2019t left in the last eighteen months. You\u2019re never gonna stop worryin\u2019 about me are you, Blondie? Not while we do what we do.<\/span><\/p>\n

No. No, I won\u2019t. But here\u2019s the thing, Starsk. You\u2019re really no different than me. You worry about me just the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

And if we stopped this? Stopped this life where you get tossed in the air and pounded into the blacktop by a hit-and-run car.<\/span><\/p>\n

– A life where you get taken down in a spray of bullets and I can\u2019t do a damn thing to stop it?<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, yeah \u2013 the same I guess. What then? What then, Hutch?<\/span><\/p>\n

I know I\u2019d still worry. Every day, every hour, every minute. Seems to me that every waking moment I\u2019m quietly terrified of losing you. Cop or not. For me, the fear of losing you is always there.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you asked me to give up being a cop? If I said yes, that I\u2019d do it for you \u2013 then what, Hutch?<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I\u2019d stop worrying about you being a cop, but I\u2019d still worry \u2013 in different ways \u2013 but just as much.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just like if your flayed skin and torn muscles get put back together, I\u2019ll still worry about you, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yep. I\u2019m sure you would. Face it, Starsk, we\u2019re a hopeless pair.<\/span><\/p>\n

No hope for us at all, Blondie?<\/span><\/p>\n

Nope. Not one bit. Not while we keep loving each other the way we do. Not when I wake up beside you every morning and remember how much I love you all over again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026Hutch \u2013 hell\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Not like right now when I\u2019m sitting here with my leg all banged up and all I can think of is showing you how much I love you\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

Christ, Hutch, you\u2019re making me all misty-eyed here. You know when you start up that romantic talk you turn me into soft mush\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

I like you soft and mushy just as much as I like you hard and tough.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hard?<\/span><\/p>\n

You heard me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hey, cut it out. You keep that talk up and I won\u2019t be fit to go downstairs to get your ice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe if you get over here just a little closer I won\u2019t need that ice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like this ya\u2019 mean?<\/span><\/p>\n

Like that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Close enough?<\/span><\/p>\n

Not quite close enough, but getting there \u2013 just let me\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hey Hutch\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hmnn\u2026what, babe?<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe I\u2019ll make sure that nice French lady downstairs puts a bottle of champagne in the bucket of ice after all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh?<\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah \u2013 because \u2013 Oh God, that\u2019s good, Hutch\u2026. Umm \u2013 we\u2019ve got something to celebrate.<\/span><\/p>\n

We do? Starsky, just let me\u2026there\u2026.oh Christ\u2026ahh, we do?<\/span><\/p>\n

Yep. We can celebrate that I\u2019ve still got you \u2013 a bit flayed up and all \u2013 but still got you. And, you\u2019ve still got me. Patched and rebuilt \u2013 but still here. Still here for another Christmas. Together.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll toast to that \u2013 when we get the bubbly. In the meantime, David Starsky \u2013 I\u2019ll just have to find something else to toast with \u2013<\/span><\/p>\n

Like\u2026like what?<\/span><\/p>\n

Like this damp, very damp, succulent moist flesh under my tongue. Who needs champagne when I\u2019ve got you, Starsk?<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch?<\/span><\/p>\n

Hmmm? What, Starsk?<\/span><\/p>\n

From now on, I\u2019m gonna be asking you a lot more rhetorical questions.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Am I gonna sit here all night and wait? Wait for what, Starsky? If you mean Christmas morning \u2013 you\u2019ll be waiting a while. No dumb head, an answer, Hutch, an answer for God\u2019s sake. It wasn\u2019t a question. You … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=201"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":204,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions\/204"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2014\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}