{"id":154,"date":"2016-12-23T05:41:00","date_gmt":"2016-12-23T05:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/?p=154"},"modified":"2016-12-23T05:41:00","modified_gmt":"2016-12-23T05:41:00","slug":"december-23rd-huggys-unexpected-guests-by-dppatricks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/?p=154","title":{"rendered":"December 23rd- Huggy\u2019s Unexpected Guests by DPPatricks"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is gonna be the coolest Christmas Eve party anybody\u2019s ever seen, I thought, watching Anita, Diane, and all my other \u2018elves\u2019 scurry around. I\u2019d gotten the biggest tree I could find, set it up in the corner farthest from the bar, figuring it would be out of the way of any falling-down drunks, and we\u2019d been decorating it all day. Anita was hanging the last of the tinsel and I had to admit, it was a mighty fine Yuletide spectacle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d\u2019 ya think, Huggy?\u201d she called, flinging a final few aluminum strands onto the already gaudy display.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLookin\u2019 good, everybody,\u201d I shouted. \u201cJust the little stuff left to do now. First eggnog\u2019s on me, when the party starts.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoots and hollers were heard throughout the room and back in the kitchen. Oh, we are gonna run through the \u2018nog tonight.<\/span><\/p>\n

There was plenty of room underneath the evergreen for presents and those had been showing up, one or two at a time, until there was quite a pile now. As soon as everyone from Metro got off work and made their way here, I was pretty sure it would be an impressive accumulation. My brothers and sisters in blue always remembered their Huggy Bear and his helpers. Even if they didn\u2019t always pay their bar tabs in a timely manner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuggy, what do you think we\u2026?\u201d Dianne\u2019s question was interrupted when the back door flew open.<\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

Preceded by two shabbily dressed members of his gang, Stanley Zucker slithered in. His goons were armed to the teeth and pointing weapons in every direction. My happiness bubble burst. I had sincerely hoped never to see that particular denizen of the criminal world again, but here he was in my fine establishment on the eve of Christmas. Three other equally unappealing members of the lowlife community followed Zucker in, the last one slamming the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLock it!\u201d Zucker ordered.<\/span><\/p>\n

The goon did as told. \u201cThis is damn good hardware, boss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood! It\u2019ll keep out the riff raff,\u201d Zucker snorted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, well, and well again,\u201d I said, jovially, pasting the phoniest smile on my features I could manage. \u201cTo what do I owe the pleasure?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker pulled a grungy knitted cap off his head, revealing why he was known as \u2018The Snake.\u2019 A tattooed cobra coiled around his neck. The hood flared over the top of his bald pate while the beady eyes and menacing tongue extended onto his forehead. It had taken some inmate two years, I\u2019d been told, to complete the work during Zucker\u2019s first incarceration, and it was mighty impressive. Best prison ink I\u2019d ever seen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy boys and I are here to add to your festivities,\u201d he hissed, stuffing the cap in his back pocket.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGee, Mr. Snake,\u201d I began, screwing up my courage to banter words with this piece o\u2019 slime, \u201cwhen you joined Delaney in his little escapade last month, I figured you\u2019d be more than half way to South American by now. You decide t\u2019 hang around, dodgin\u2019 cops, just so you could come to my party tonight?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAlways loved your jokes, Huggy,\u201d Snake retorted, patently lying. \u201cI swear I want to hear your best one just before I kill you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll start thinkin\u2019 right now then,\u201d I managed to get out of my dry throat, \u201c\u2018cause I wouldn\u2019t want to disappoint you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnly way you\u2019d do that,\u201d he snarled, \u2018is if you don\u2019t get your friends, Starsky and Hutchinson, down here so I can get all my grudges settled at one time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew this wasn\u2019t good. Starsky and Hutch were due with the rest of Metro in a couple of hours. Somehow I had to warn them. Or keep them away. \u201cUh\u2026 well, now\u2026 maybe\u2026\u201d I stammered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Zucker leaned into my face. \u201cYou tellin\u2019 me they ain\u2019t comin\u2019 to your shindig?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not exactly\u2026\u201d I was trying to think of something, anything to say.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou get \u2018em here, Bear.\u201d The tip of a very large, sharp looking knife appeared at the corner of my left eye. \u201cCall \u2018em! Tell \u2018em you\u2019re gonna be throwin\u2019 the party o\u2019 the century and they better not miss it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Attempting to swallow around the knot of genuine fear that had lodged in my throat, I made my way to the bar, fumbled the receiver as I picked it up, and dialed Starsky\u2019s squad room number. As soon as it was picked up at the other end, I started speaking loudly. \u201cHey, Hutch! It\u2019s yer ol\u2019 pal, Huggy Bear. Lemme talk to Starsky\u2026 Yeah, Hutchinson, only Starsky.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I waited, cocking my eyebrows at Zucker. I heard Starsky snap his fingers, presumably at his partner, and a soft click on the line indicated someone else was now listening.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStarsky!\u201d I went on, as cheerfully as I could force myself to sound, \u201cSkinny tells me\u2026 what? Oh, he\u2019s my new cook, fat guy, we call \u2018im Skinny. I\u2019ve told you \u2018bout him, makes all those new dishes I got on my menu. He\u2019s makin\u2019 a special one for tonight, which brings me to this conversation.\u201d I looked around at the watchful faces of Zucker and his gang, and the anxious faces of my friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you in trouble, Hug?\u201d Starsky whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, indeed!\u201d I answered heartily. \u201cI know you\u2019re busy so why doncha shut up and lemme get t\u2019 the reason fer m\u2019 call?\u201d Taking a breath and pretending to get myself back under control, I went on in a lower voice. \u201cSkinny tells me he\u2019s heard a rumor that you and your blond partner ain\u2019t gonna grace us with your presence down here this evenin\u2019.\u201d I made the last half dozen words sound as \u2018offended\u2019 as possible. \u201cSo, I\u2019m askin\u2019 ya straight out if Skinny\u2019s right. You two thinkin\u2019 o\u2019 stiffin\u2019 yer ol\u2019 buddy? Yer pal? The black brother that\u2019s gotten your asses outta more slings than an orthopedic ward?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker couldn\u2019t hide a smirk and moved closer, maybe trying to hear whatever Starsky was saying. Which wasn\u2019t anything. My buddy was silent, but I knew his mind was working overtime. Right along with that college boy partner of his.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBeverly Hills?\u201d I hollered, supposedly in response to whatever Starsky had said. \u201cWho the fuck in that glorified burg is more important than me? Everybody up there\u2019s an over-dressed pimp or a green satin hooker! You come on down here, boy,\u201d I snorted, \u201cbring your snivelly blond partner with ya, see some real, live, honest-t\u2019-God action! More good times and high spirits than you\u2019ll find at any other venue tonight. I can guar-an-tee that!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow many?\u201d Hutch whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSix o\u2019clock, m\u2019 man, jus\u2019 like on the notice I sent a few weeks ago.\u201d I wished I knew if my garbled messages were getting through. \u201cTha\u2019s right, six. The fun\u2019s startin\u2019 now but we\u2019ll be expectin\u2019 you by then.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I shrugged at Zucker and started to hang up. Trying to make it look as if I\u2019d just thought of something else, I put the receiver back to my ear. \u201cOh, an\u2019 Starsky,\u201d I barked, \u201cnot a word o\u2019 this to Dobey or those two other clowns in your squad room. Ya hear me? This is gonna be a so-phis-ti-cated party. See you both at six!\u201d I slammed the receiver down.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker let out a guffaw before he plowed his fist into my stomach, hard.<\/span><\/p>\n

My knees buckled and I went down, seeing stars and the probable end of my days on this earth.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anita and Diane ran to my side and Zucker backed off, still brandishing the knife though. \u201cGet him on his feet, ladies, he\u2019s gonna introduce me to his new cook.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My insides knotted up worse than they had from the punch. If Raoul didn\u2019t catch on quick, we were all dead. The Snake prodded my back with the point of his knife and walked me to the kitchen. Two of his goons had my prep and wait staff lined up behind the stainless steel counter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich one o\u2019 you is Skinny?\u201d Zucker shouted, the knife dangling visibly now over my shoulder. He\u2019d heard me say \u2018fat guy,\u2019 but a couple of my employees qualified.<\/span><\/p>\n

I caught Raoul\u2019s eyes and tried to send him the plan wordlessly. Now, you gotta understand, Raoul\u2019s three hundred pounds if he\u2019s an ounce and he\u2019d done two stretches in Q for crimes he swore he never committed. He\u2019s been with me for more than three years and I trust him with my life. I\u2019m just not sure I trust him to dive into a melodrama without a script.<\/span><\/p>\n

His eyes widened when he saw the knife before they went squinty. \u201cWatch who yer callin\u2019 names, asshole,\u201d he growled. \u201cI only allow certain o\u2019 ma closes\u2019 friends t\u2019 call me that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I silently sent him a, \u2018thank you\u2019 when he flicked a quick look at me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo\u2026\u201d Zucker still sounded suspicious. \u201cthe Bear, here, says you heard a rumor.\u201d He shoved me ahead of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

I stumbled toward the counter. \u201cStarsky and Hutch,\u201d I mouthed to Raoul, \u201cnot comin\u2019 t\u2019night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Nonchalantly, Raoul walked to his meat preparation table, keeping his eyes on Zucker. \u201cAll right with you, suh, if I keep on with ma work here? I gots t\u2019 make Veal Provencal fer as many as two hundred hungry people.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He pulled a haunch out of the refrigerator and slapped it onto his cutting board. \u201cYer cronies, here, though,\u201d he made insolent gestures at both gang members, \u201ctook all ma knives, boss.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cCain\u2019t prepare no meat without ma cutlery.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker motioned to one of his thugs. \u201cGive \u2018em back, Sly. But make sure you watch him good. If any of those blades goes anywhere except into a slab o\u2019 meat or a vegetable, put a slug in his kneecap.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBe more than happy to, boss,\u201d the guy on Raoul\u2019s left said, apparently relishing the idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow then,\u201d Zucker continued, \u201cwhat about this rumor you heard?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Raoul inspected each of his knives after getting them back, selected the large carving utensil and stropped it a few times. He looked insolently at our tormentor as he rested the steel on its eventual target. \u201cYou mean about Starsky and Hutch?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Zucker sneered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey ain\u2019t comin\u2019.\u201d Raoul bent over the veal.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d The Snake was plainly unsatisfied.<\/span><\/p>\n

Raoul slammed the point of the razor sharp implement into the wooden block under the shank and looked angrily at our captor. \u201cHow the fuck would I know that?\u201d Leaning on the knife handle, he glared at Zucker. \u201cI heard a rumor. I knew Huggy\u2019d want t\u2019 know, \u2018cause it was about his lousy cop friends. I tol\u2019 \u2018im somebody said they ain\u2019t gonna show up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He pulled the knife out of the wood with some difficulty and started slicing. \u201cIf Huggy embellished on what I tol\u2019 him, that\u2019s his problem.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker pointed his piece of steel at me. \u201cYou better damn well hope you changed Starsky\u2019s mind, Huggy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Admonishing his henchmen next, he threatened them with the same weapon. \u201cKeep your eyes on everybody in here, Sly. If any of them makes a wrong move, shoot \u2018em in the leg before you come get me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Dragging me by my shirt collar, we moved back into the main room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLooks \u2018t me,\u201d The Snake observed, pointing his sticker at the boxes of garland, lights and ornaments stacked on the bar, \u201clike your staff\u2019s been layin\u2019 down on the job, Bear. Get the rest o\u2019 these decorations up! Make this place look like it\u2019s fit for a party! Right now, it\u2019s pathetic!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He spun on two of his gang members who were pawing through the presents under the tree. \u201cPut those back, you shitheads. We\u2019ll have plenty of time, later. We don\u2019t want nobody walkin\u2019 in here and noticin\u2019 anything wrong. Huggy\u2019s probably got deliveries due. We gotta appear natural.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He slapped me on the back of the head. \u201cBring me a beer, barkeep.\u201d He sauntered over to a booth, slid in and put his dirty boots up on the opposite bench.<\/span><\/p>\n

With only slightly shaking hands, I drew a beer and took it over to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

He swallowed half the glassful before he put it down, wiped his mouth and belched loudly. \u201cGet to work. You got plenty t\u2019 do before your invited guests start arrivin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I walked back to the kitchen door and pushed it open. \u201cYou all okay in here, Skinny<\/em>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou bet, bossman,\u201d Raoul responded, sending me a wink neither of the hoods could see.<\/span><\/p>\n

I turned and made my way to the bar. Anita and Diane had begun laying garlands around the edge while Wayne, my only male waiter, was taping it in place.<\/span><\/p>\n

I got out the step stool and started hanging more greenery along the shelves of liquor bottles and glasses. Anita came over and kept me supplied with garland and tacks.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that all about with Starsky,\u201d she asked, sotto voce.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSkinny was the nickname of a friend of Starsky\u2019s and mine from way back,\u201d I explained in a voice so soft I wasn\u2019t sure she could hear me. \u201cThe world knew him as Nelson, only Starsky and I called him Skinny. Sure hope m\u2019 man remembers.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I moved the short ladder and climbed back up. \u201cEight years ago, just after Starsky and Hutch made detective, that bastard in the corner thought Nelson had crossed him on a stupid low level scam.\u201d I looked down at her and knew she was hearing me. \u201cHe killed him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Anita sucked in a breath but held it together, handing me more greens and thumbtacks. \u201cThe three of you sent him away?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStarsky and Hutch did that,\u201d I whispered. \u201cI really didn\u2019t have much to do with it. But Zucker, there, knew I\u2019d turned my guys onto him. He swore he\u2019d get me, too, when he got out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe killed Nelson and he\u2019s already free?\u201d She was clearly disgusted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn a manner o\u2019 speakin.\u201d I glanced in the mirror to make sure Zucker wasn\u2019t paying any attention to me. \u201cThe judge only gave him ten years but I guess he couldn\u2019t wait. He\u2019s one of the half dozen guys that broke out of prison a few weeks ago with Mel Delaney. Four of \u2018em\u2019ve been caught but I knew Zucker wasn\u2019t one of them. Like I told him though, I never thought he\u2019d stay around. Figured him for long gone.\u201d I hung another swag.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019d he get these other clowns?\u201d She gestured subtly to the three gang members in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

One, a skinny youngster, was slouched near the locked back door. For a second, I wondered what a kid like that was doing with Zucker and his crew.<\/span><\/p>\n

The last two, who looked as if they could be brothers because they had similar features and hair color, were huge and muscle-bound. Didn\u2019t look like they were carryin\u2019 much in the way of smarts. They wandered, picking items up and inspecting them before setting them back down.<\/span><\/p>\n

Each of the three seemed to keep a wary eye on Snake at all times.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m told there\u2019s a corner downtown,\u201d I murmured, \u201cwhere lookin\u2019-for-a-job thugs hang out. He probably trolled through and picked \u2018em up.\u201d I stared in the mirror again. \u201cCan\u2019t imagine he cares what happens to any of \u2018em, after tonight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo we got a murderer and escaped convict, plus five penny ante desperados on our hands,\u201d Anita muttered. \u201cThat sucks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell me about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Bear,\u201d The Snake called from his corner. \u201cBring me another beer. And put one for each of my boys on my tab.\u201d He laughed heartily at his little joke while I climbed off the stool, drew his beer and five more. Diane delivered them, cautiously. Zucker laughed a lot.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"snowflakes-divider\"<\/p>\n

The place was now decorated to the nines. Multicolored lights shone in the garlands hung all around the room. Fat red candles under hurricane shades flickered on all the tables. Santa, his reindeer and gift-stuffed sleigh rode the top of the jukebox.<\/span><\/p>\n

I ushered the delivery boy, who\u2019d just brought five cheesecakes, out the front door. \u201cSorry \u2018bout the back door bein\u2019 locked, Arnold,\u201d I apologized. \u201cI\u2019ll have it fixed so you don\u2019t have to walk all the way around next time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The kid shrugged unconcernedly and left, casting a suspicious eye toward the youthful gang member who\u2019d moved from guarding the back door to patrolling the sidewalk in front. All his weaponry was concealed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I went back inside, into the main room. Looking around, I couldn\u2019t see anything else that needed to be done. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was five forty-five. Nearly showtime. Maybe my messages hadn\u2019t gotten through. Or maybe Starsky thought I\u2019d already had one too many when I called, and was going to avoid The Pits entirely. Could be only me and my elves were going to bite the dust tonight. That\u2019d be better than all my friends from Metro dying too, but\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

Voices sounded from the front entrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker jumped up and ran to grab my arm before I could move around the partition.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cM\u2019 man Dugout\u2019ll handle it,\u201d he stated. \u201cHe\u2019s been tellin\u2019 everybody that the place is closed for a private party tonight. He knows who we\u2019re waitin\u2019 for \u2019cause I gave him pictures of your two buddies.\u201d He snickered, evilly. \u201cThey get their mugs in the papers a lot!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The voices grew louder and I recognized one of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou better tell that no good nephew of mine that if he doesn\u2019t open this two-bit tavern for me right this minute,\u201d the voice of Captain Harold Dobey bellowed, \u201cI\u2019ll burn it to the ground and cover the ashes with salt. Nothing, and I mean nothing<\/em> will ever grow here again!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I hissed in The Snake\u2019s ear. \u201cThat\u2019s my Uncle Harold. He runs girls out of his two mansions. I had no idea he was gonna show up tonight but, if you don\u2019t let him in, he\u2019ll do exactly what he says. And believe me, Mr. Zucker, he won\u2019t care if there\u2019s anybody in here when he does.\u201d I cocked my head. \u201cGet on his good side though, and you won\u2019t ever have to run a petty scam again in your life!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet \u2018im in, Dugout!\u201d Zucker hollered.<\/span><\/p>\n

I tried to contain my nerves and fear as I heard numerous people stomp and clatter down the two steps from the entrance. Were those high heeled shoes I heard? Oh, good lord, what did Dobey think he was doing?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHang up my cashmere, fool,\u201d Dobey snarled. \u201cAnd if you drag it on the floor, I swear I\u2019ll make you lick the dirt off with your tongue.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

There was the sound of shuffling and shifting while coats were probably shed and hung on the numerous hooks that line the hall. More high heels skittered around and I distinctly heard giggling. This was going to be an unmitigated disaster.<\/span><\/p>\n

Preceded by clouds of cigar smoke, Harold Dobey, Captain of Detectives, Ninth Precinct, Bay City Police Department, surged into the main room of my bar. It wasn\u2019t the first time he\u2019d been here, of course, but this was, by far, his most impressive entrance to date.<\/span><\/p>\n

He was dressed in a cream colored suit that was only slightly stressed at the seams, the jacket of which didn\u2019t have a prayer of closing over his paunch though. His shirt was lemon yellow and his tie and pocket handkerchief were cobalt blue. The cigar in his hand smelled like genuine Cuban tobacco.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was amazed at the depth of the BCPD\u2019s property and undercover wardrobe department.<\/span><\/p>\n

Behind Dobey, the young guard who was evidently known as Dugout, hunched in, peering cautiously around Dobey\u2019s bulk. \u201cSorry, Snake. They crowded me. I couldn\u2019t keep \u2018em all out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShut up!\u201d Zucker snapped. \u201cGet back to the door.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Snake, you\u2019re not gonna believe who\u2019s with \u2018im,\u201d Dugout continued. \u201cLemme stay. Please?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAt least go lock it!\u201d Snake shouted.<\/span><\/p>\n

I had to smile a little. Stanley Zucker, The Snake, didn\u2019t even realize the situation was rapidly spinning out of his control.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dugout snuck back in and sidled up next to the hulk brothers, as if hoping they\u2019d protect him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dobey\u2019s haughty gaze swept over my staff, who\u2019d gathered behind the bar, and the lowlifes scattered around the space. Coming to rest, finally, on Zucker, his eyes widened. \u201cMy, my, Nephew,\u201d he purred, in a voice that sounded impressed, \u201cI had no idea you knew this gentleman.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Gliding forward, Dobey extended his hand to Zucker.<\/span><\/p>\n

Attempting to keep my face blank, I wondered \u2018how did two hundred fifty pounds of Harold Dobey manage to glide?\u2019 Mentally shaking my head, I decided I\u2019d have to think about that later.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker had no option but to shift the knife to his left hand so that he could accept the large black paw.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Stanley Zucker, I do believe,\u201d Dobey bellowed, heartily. \u201cHow you\u2019ve managed to avoid all the cops looking for you is a story I\u2019d dearly like to hear, sir!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He dropped Zucker\u2019s hand. \u201cLater though.\u201d He spun toward me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I clamped my astonished mouth shut. \u201cYes, Uncle?\u201d I inquired, politely. \u201cHow may I be of service this evening?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI found myself without a Christmas Eve party to attend,\u201d Dobey pronounced, \u201cso I decided to raise the level of your clientele by bringing a few of my new girls, plus excellent food and drink, to grace your lowly establishment.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He spread his arms in a welcoming gesture and intoned, \u201cGirls?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The captain\u2019s appearance should have warned me but I was, in no way, prepared for the person who came around the corner in response to his invitation, and strutted into the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

She was a strikingly beautiful redhead, taller than Dobey in her three inch spike heels, wearing a form clinging green velvet floor length gown. It was slit up the side of her right leg, probably so that she could walk in the tight thing. A sleek black stocking covered the visible limb. The neckline was decorously high but the bodice only served to accentuate generous breasts. Long sleeves ended in deep v\u2019s over the backs of her hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

She sported several rings that, if the gems were real, were worth the price of my whole building. More glittery stuff circled her neck and dangled from her ear lobes. Tightly curled brilliant auburn hair cascaded to her shoulders, making an excellent contrast with her intense midnight blue eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

The second one of Dobey\u2019s \u2018girls\u2019 entered and my jaw dropped even further.<\/span><\/p>\n

A couple of inches taller than Green Gown, and more statuesque, if that was possible, she was drop dead gorgeous. Long, silken wavy blonde hair fell past her ruby lips, which pouted exquisitely. She was wearing a low cut scarlet dress that gave \u2018hourglass figure\u2019 a new meaning. A slit up the middle of the front of the skirt exposed long, shapely legs clad in red stockings.<\/span><\/p>\n

She flowed across the floor to stand next to her girlfriend, putting a long-fingered hand on the green-clad forearm. Her lethal-length nails were the same crimson as her provocative lips, but it was her startlingly blue eyes that mesmerized. The lava-hot gaze that poured from them seemed to set everything in the room ablaze when she checked out all her admirers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNephew,\u201d Dobey mellifluously interrupted everyone\u2019s stare. \u201cI\u2019d like you to meet my two newest\u2026 acquisitions.\u201d Nodding to the blonde, he bowed slightly. \u201cThis is Shirley Temple and,\u201d half turning to the redhead, \u201cthis is Delilah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I stepped forward, took a hand of each \u2018girl\u2019 in one of my own and bent over them. \u201cAm I ever glad to see you guys!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cChampagne, my bear,\u201d Dobey proclaimed, drowning out my whisper. \u201cWe must have champagne for everyone.\u201d Turning, he loudly summoned the rest of his entourage. \u201cBarbara, Sheila, Anton\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As blown away as I\u2019d been by Starsky\u2019s and Hutch\u2019s disguises, only just now realizing that Hutch had had to shave off his mustache, I was equally stunned with the getups and outfits of Babcock, Simmons and Minnie Kaplan.<\/span><\/p>\n

Simmons had stuffed his tall, lean frame into a shimmer of gold satin that was mostly hidden under a cream, sleeveless, three-quarter-length tunic. A black wig covered his dark blond hair and hung careless curls impishly over much of his face. Black high heels, black gloves and ropes of jet beads and earrings completed the outfit.<\/span><\/p>\n

Babcock was clad to look like a short version of Winter Wonderland in a snowy wig that cascaded over ermine-covered shoulders. A white lace blouse and silky-looking foam-colored lounging pajamas covered his limbs. His feet looked really uncomfortable in white satin pumps.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie, my<\/em> Minnie, as I was bound and determined to be able to call her one of these days, was dressed all in black. Apparently cast as Dobey\u2019s male aide, \u2018Anton,\u2019 she wore an ebony three-piece suit, a shiny black shirt and black Windsor-knotted tie.<\/span><\/p>\n

Her hair was slicked straight back, making her usual black-framed glasses stand out.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was the final piece of her disguise though, that had me chortling inside: Starsky\u2019s \u2018Ramon\u2019 mustache. And, by God, she made it look good<\/em>!<\/span><\/p>\n

I clamped down on my smile and shifted my gaze to the object Minnie was pulling behind her. It was the biggest Igloo ice chest I\u2019d ever seen. Didn\u2019t know they made \u2018em that big!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere shall I set up, sir,\u201d Minnie queried Dobey, deferentially.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dobey waved a hand dismissively. \u201cOh, I don\u2019t care. Anywhere out of the way, I guess.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker appeared to realize he was no longer in charge and his face flushed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey! Whacha got there?\u201d He stalked to Minnie. \u201cOpen it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Casually, she did so.<\/span><\/p>\n

I could just see over the rim to the contents. There were half a dozen dark green bottles, wedges of cheese, boxes of crackers, tins that possibly held caviar, and other goodies I couldn\u2019t identify.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zucker stared and almost began to salivate. He pointed toward the bar. \u201cWhy doncha put that stuff out over there where we can all get to it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat sounds like a fine idea, Mr. Zucker.\u201d Dobey gestured to Minnie. \u201cDo that, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She hauled the cooler over to where Diane, Anita and Wayne waited, behind the bar. The four of them began to unload the delectables onto the long, flat surface.<\/span><\/p>\n

I noticed that Snake\u2019s two kitchen goons had come out to ogle the arrivals, their tongues literally hanging out of their mouths. It had probably been a long time since either one of them had gotten laid.<\/span><\/p>\n

Raoul and the rest of my prep and wait staff came out, staring at all the spectacular figures clustered around the entrance. After a few moments, Raoul jostled them and they joined Anita, Diane, Minnie and Wayne. I sincerely hoped I was the only one who noticed that Raoul had his carving knife in his hand, hidden under his apron.<\/span><\/p>\n

While Wayne and Diane grabbed flutes from the glass rack and Minnie and Anita began opening bottles, I looked around at the weird cast of characters currently populating The Pits.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dobey had his arm around Zucker\u2019s shoulders, guiding him toward a booth. \u201cNow, Mr. Snake,\u201d he began, genially, \u201cplease tell me how you have managed to remain free these past weeks. I was under the impression that half of California\u2019s law enforcement personnel was searching for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWeren\u2019t easy,\u201d Snake informed him, visibly impressed with himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky and Hutch sailed toward the huge, muscular brothers, bracketing them closely.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLook at these muscles, Dee,\u201d Hutch cooed, squeezing a bulging bicep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNoticed them the minute I walked in, Shirl,\u201d Starsky replied, huskily. \u201cI haven\u2019t seen specimens like these two boys in many a year.\u201d He batted his eyelashes at the patently flustered thug.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch draped his long arm around the second brother\u2019s neck, dripping his hand down over the brawny chest. \u201cDo you really have to wear this silly thing?\u201d He fingered the guy\u2019s shoulder holster.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026\u201d the goon gulped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake it off, why don\u2019t you?\u201d Hutch urged. Winking at Starsky, he used his other hand to play with the idiot\u2019s greasy hair. \u201cDelilah and I would just love to snuggle with you two in a cozy booth\u2026\u201d He stepped back and allowed his appraising gaze to course up and down the man\u2019s impressive frame. \u201cBut it would be really uncomfortable if you\u2019re wearing nasty objects.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is everyone armed in the first place?\u201d Starsky whined. \u201cThis is party! We\u2019re all supposed to have fun!\u201d He frowned prettily. \u201cGuns are no fun.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026 uh\u2026 I guess,\u201d the second goon stuttered before unsnapping the fastenings on his holster and taking it off.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky accepted it and laughed, happily. \u201cOh, that\u2019s much better.\u201d Smiling at Hutch, he continued, \u201cNow yours, Dee.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch held out his hand and the first brother shed his weapon and holster. \u201cI\u2019ll just put these over here,\u201d Hutch said, taking Starsky\u2019s captured automatic, too, and moving to a table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat else have you got in those tight ol\u2019 pants, big boy?\u201d Starsky coaxed, running his hands up and down his captive\u2019s chest. \u201cCome on, sweetie, show mama. What else?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Reluctantly, and appearing somewhat embarrassed, the guy dug another small gun and two knives out of his jacket and pants pockets.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOhhhh,\u201d Starsky exhaled, softly, \u201cI could have hurt myself, couldn\u2019t I?\u201d He accepted the offerings and passed them quickly to Hutch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch came back from the cache and stared, pointedly, at his half of the brother combo. He tapped his spike heel, impatiently. \u201cDo you subscribe to the same overkill mentality as your friend, sir?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s my brother,\u201d the man confessed, as if it were a misdeed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course he is,\u201d Hutch simpered. \u201cBut Dee and I aren\u2019t getting into that booth with you until you\u2019ve removed all the items that might injure us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019d never\u2026\u201d the second brother began.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course you wouldn\u2019t,\u201d Starsky interrupted, cheerfully. \u201cShirl and I are just cautious. You know how easily a girl can get hurt these days.\u201d He batted his eyelashes again.<\/span><\/p>\n

The reluctant one caved and handed over two more guns and a knife.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch piled them on top of the rest of the weapons.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you two slide in first?\u201d Starsky suggested. \u201cThat way Shirl and I can get to the little girl\u2019s room, if we need to.\u201d He grinned, shyly, at Hutch.<\/span><\/p>\n

When the goons were crammed at the wall on either side of the booth, Starsky slid in one side and Hutch on the other.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie approached with a tray and four glasses of champagne. She carried the tray in her left hand, holding a large towel underneath with her right. As she bent forward and delivered a glass to each of the two men, Starsky and Hutch surreptitiously took their weapons from under the towel.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I realized what had been stashed under the goodies in the oversize Igloo.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch hid his Python under the folds of his skirt while Starsky did the same with his Beretta.<\/span><\/p>\n

The men gulped several swallows before they realized that the \u2018girls\u2019 were waiting for a toast. Embarrassed, they held their glasses out into the center of the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky and Hutch each picked up a flute and clinked rims with the goons\u2019 .<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTo a memorable evening.\u201d Starsky\u2019s toast brought a smile to Hutch\u2019s face.<\/span><\/p>\n

I dragged my attention away from \u2018Dee\u2019 and \u2018Shirl,\u2019 and scanned the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie was making the rounds, delivering champagne, and cop guns, to each \u2018couple,\u2019 in separate booths.<\/span><\/p>\n

Simmons had attached himself to Dugout, the slender, pock-marked-faced kid who\u2019d been standing watch out front and had so ineffectively barred Dobey and the others.<\/span><\/p>\n

The detective was extracting a knife from an inside pocket, which he placed on the table, as far from his companion\u2019s hands as possible, with the pistol he had already removed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Simmons accepted his drink, and .38, from Minnie, while the oblivious youngster sucked down the bubbly.<\/span><\/p>\n

In an adjacent booth, Babcock was all over the second guy from the kitchen. Two knives and two guns were piled on the table. \u201cYou have more than sufficient\u2026 weaponry, you handsome brute,\u201d the detective crooned. \u201cWhy carry more?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you say your name was?\u201d The pathetic excuse for a bad guy could barely get the words out of his drooling mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

Babcock laughed, sexily, and pinched his cheek. \u201cI\u2019m Sheila.\u201d He took two flutes from Minnie\u2019s tray, passing one to his companion. While the guy was guzzling, he slipped his own gun out from under Minnie\u2019s towel and put it behind his hip.<\/span><\/p>\n

Raoul had maneuvered himself to where he was standing near Sly, the henchman who\u2019d gotten pleasure out of menacing him and his staff. The big knife was held down by his thigh.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sly was gulping champagne and stuffing caviar-covered crackers in his mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

I caught Raoul\u2019s eye and shook my head marginally.<\/span><\/p>\n

He nodded understanding and relaxed a little. He was obviously willing to wait for someone\u2019s signal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie made the rounds of the room with two fresh bottles, filling and re-filling all six gang members\u2019 glasses, before going behind the bar.<\/span><\/p>\n

I moved over to where Dobey was urging Snake to drink up, while listening, avidly, to the escapee\u2019s continuing tale.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell ya, Harold\u2026\u201d Snake emptied the freshly-filled glass in two gulps. \u201cI know all the hidey holes now. I could stay outta the clutches of every stupid cop in this whole state, if I had to.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll never get that chance, Zucker.\u201d Dobey removed his gun from the back of his waistband and shoved it under Snake\u2019s chin. \u201cYou\u2019re under arrest,\u201d he called, loudly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Having patiently waited for their captain\u2019s signal, Starsky, Hutch, Babcock and Simmons produced their weapons and stuck the muzzles into the closest vulnerable spot on each thug\u2019s person.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the captain just said,\u201d Starsky smirked to brother number two. Or was it number one? I couldn\u2019t remember.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sly jumped back from the bar and reached for his automatic but Raoul grabbed him around the throat and laid the sharp edge of his knife against the jugular.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie disarmed Sly but Raoul kept the blade in place.<\/span><\/p>\n

She then skipped around the room, collecting all the guns and knives and piling them on a central table. I\u2019d never seen my Minnie skip before, but, Lord, it was a glorious sight!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBring the uniforms in now, please, Minnie,\u201d Dobey requested.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She went to the back door first, threw the dead bolt and opened up. A dozen uniformed cops poured in, taking charge of the various gang members.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie ducked into the entrance hall and soon more officers followed her back into my bar.<\/span><\/p>\n

I reached forward, across Dobey, and lifted the wicked knife from Snake\u2019s stiff fingers. \u201cI think your part of the show is over now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Dobey stood up and yanked Zucker out of the booth.<\/span><\/p>\n

An officer was there immediately. He frisked the jail breaker, finding another gun and a switchblade and handing them to a waiting officer. Then he pulled The Snake\u2019s hands behind his back and cuffed him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWha\u2019\u2026? How\u2019d you\u2026? I didn\u2019t\u2026 you couldn\u2019t\u2026\u201d Zucker babbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe could,\u201d Dobey crowed. \u201cAnd we did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t heard them move but, suddenly, Starsky and Hutch were on either side of me, their arms around my narrow shoulders, reaching onto each others\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou knew we\u2019d never let you down, right Hug?\u201d Starsky was still in sultry redhead mode.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou always throw the best party in town, Mr. Bear,\u201d Hutch added, melodiously.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGet \u2018em all outta here!\u201d Dobey roared. \u201cCleary!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

An officer stepped forward and I thought he was going to salute but, at the last moment, he managed not to. He smiled, instead. \u201cSir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBook \u2018em, fast! Then bring all your guys back and help us celebrate!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir!\u201d Cleary took charge of the now-cuffed Stanley Zucker. \u201cMr. Zucker, in case you have not been informed as of yet, you are under arrest. Come along and we\u2019ll read all of you your rights on the way to Metro.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A dozen uniforms gathered up the six gang members and hustled them out. Two more officers collected all the guns and knives.<\/span><\/p>\n

Babbling ensued. That\u2019s all I could call it. My staff knew Starsky and Hutch of course. Dobey and Minnie had been in before, too. But no one had ever seen any of them dressed like they were tonight. My guys \u2018n\u2019 gals crowded around them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Raoul gave me a sly smile and took his piece of cutlery back to the kitchen. Probably realizing he still had a sumptuous meal to prepare, he dragged a couple of his prep staff with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anita and Diane cut Minnie from the herd. \u201cThat \u2018stache looks better on you than it ever did on Starsky,\u201d Diane observed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky tossed her a \u2018Ramon is offended\u2019 look.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch threw an arm over Starsky\u2019s shoulders and turned him toward Wayne and the rest of the kitchen help who were circling around, beginning to fling sarcastic, ribald remarks that I won\u2019t repeat.<\/span><\/p>\n

I will allow that Starsky\u2019s generous bosom and Hutch\u2019s missing lip rug got most of the comments. Each was easily caught and flung back though. My buddies gave as good as they got.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dobey moved away from the commotion and seated himself regally at a center table, waiting calmly, I assumed, for things to quiet down.<\/span><\/p>\n

Minnie, smiling happily, joined him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anita, Diane and Wayne made the rounds, keeping everyone\u2019s glass filled.<\/span><\/p>\n

I backed off and watched all my friends proudly. Starsky had understood what I was trying to tell him and then he, and the entire department it seems, had concocted this brilliant rescue. Not to mention the arrest of the penultimate escapee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Delilah\u2019 looked over and caught my eye. His lopsided grin widened into his full fledged beautiful smile and he nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Shirley Temple,\u2019 too, was looking at me. His intense blue eyes flashed and his radiant smile seemed to double the illumination in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t believe I had ever felt quite so blessed. And on Christmas Eve, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

The thought occurred to me that I\u2019d invite Minnie to go with me and, after I closed up in the wee hours of tomorrow morning, we\u2019d find a church that was open early, or still open late, and just sit for a while.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"snowflakes-divider\"<\/p>\n

Coming through darkness<\/span>
\n Makes simple things shine brighter<\/span>
\n Like the love of friends<\/span><\/p>\n

\"huggysunexpectedguests\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is gonna be the coolest Christmas Eve party anybody\u2019s ever seen, I thought, watching Anita, Diane, and all my other \u2018elves\u2019 scurry around. I\u2019d gotten the biggest tree I could find, set it up in the corner farthest from … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-gen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=154"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":348,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions\/348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=154"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2016\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}