December 6th- Of Blue Skies and Red Sweaters by Spencer

Note: If I could create fanvids (which I can’t), I would set one to One Direction’s Half a Blue Sky. But I can write (I think) and so I wrote this little angsty Kira story based on that song instead.

Starsky studied the miscellaneous collection of shirts, jackets and ties that had slowly accumulated on his bed. The police clothing drive was next week and he was determined to do his part. Anything to take his mind of off, well, everything. He just hadn’t anticipated how the simple exercise of cleaning out his closet would also lead to a re-evaluation of his life.

Every item had dredged up a memory, either for good or ill. The silk shirt given to him by an old girlfriend hell-bent on upgrading his style, a sporty corduroy jacket he’d kept on hand for city council meetings and court hearings, a rainbow of ties now too wide for current fashion. Not that he’d ever cared much about following trends. Perhaps that’s why the girlfriend didn’t last, Starsky mused darkly. Well, it was one reason anyway. Just not the most important one.

And now his relationship with Kira was on the rocks, too.

Starsky squeezed his eyes shut for a moment then turned back to his closet with an effort driven by sheer force of will. Or stubbornness. That was when a patch of scarlet caught his eye from beneath a dog-eared pile of Car and Driver magazines. He determined that the old periodicals would be the next to go as he tugged at the richly woven fabric. A cashmere sweater pulled free, V-necked and wide-collared and of a slightly higher quality than Starsky typically bought.

Of course it was, since the sweater wasn’t even his. It was Hutch’s.

When was the last time Starsky had worn it? He thought it might have been the night after Terry had died, when he and Hutch had sat on the kitchen floor playing Monopoly. The night they’d first talked – drunk and teary-eyed – about leaving the police force together. Heading to Canada like a pair of wild geese on a north wind. The possibility of them going separate ways hadn’t even been an option then.

Starsky turned the sweater over in his hands taking comfort in its softness and warmth. He couldn’t recall exactly how the thing had ended up in his closet. Although it wasn’t so strange that it had. It wasn’t the first piece of clothing he and Hutch had shared over the years. So many small, personal items had become interchangeable between them from their earliest days. Coffee cups, sunglasses, pencil nubs, slices of leftover pizza.

Gradually the big things had become interchangeable as well. Family and friends. Hopes and dreams. Doubts and fears. And always, always, their dependence on and trust in each other. Until it hadn’t even mattered where one stopped and the other began.

Until a woman named Kira split them apart.

Now, even though Starsky and Hutch were technically still partners, they’d come apart at the seams. They were as far apart as the earth from the stars in the night sky. And the space between them was just as cold and silent.

Being here without you is like I’m waking up to
Only half a blue sky
Kinda there but not quite
I’m walking around with just one shoe
I’m half a heart without you
I’m half a man at best
With half an arrow in my chest
I miss everything we do
I’m half a heart without you*

How had they let it happen? Reliving the past weeks during endless nights when the darkness crushed in on him like stones, Starsky had come to accept that he was as much to blame by the rift as Hutch. Sure, Hutch had slept with Kira, but Starsky had read more into Kira’s feelings for him than there had actually been. He’d been quick to supply his own ending to their story while barely skimming the pages.

The truth was, Starsky’s feelings for Hutch had grown overwhelming in their intensity. He was terrified where they might lead. As a teen, Starsky had been sent clear across the country to escape the craziness of New York. Barely in his 20s, he’d survived the horrors of war. Now he was desperate for a normal life. A normal love. Then Kira came along. Beautiful, passionate and ambitious, together they made a perfect storm.

But Kira wasn’t the heroine Starsky had made her out to be. He should have known there was no happily ever after in his future. Not with everything he’d seen. Everything he’d done. Everything he craved. And now he’d lost them both. His lady and his soulmate. The later was far worse. Starsky knew that now.

Starsky held the rumpled red sweater up to his face. The damn thing gave off more warmth than the woman ever did. He laid it against his cheek and breathed in its scent. It might just have been his imagination, but it even smelled like Hutch. Fresh and clean and sexy. The way Hutch used to smell, anyway, before he let his hair – and everything else – go.

Starsky lay down on the bed, pushing aside the mound of clothing. He held the red sweater against his chest like a child with a treasured toy. A magical guardian against terrors both within and without.

So your friend’s been telling me
You’ve been sleeping with my sweater
And that you can’t stop missing me
Bet my friend’s been telling you
I’m not doing much better
‘Cause I’m missing half of me*

That’s how Huggy found Starsky late the next morning – sprawled across his bed, one blue Adidas hanging off his foot and one hand clinging to a red sweater.

Hutch had been the one to let Huggy know Starsky hadn’t shown up for work the next day. Circumstances being what they were, Hutch wasn’t about to call the numbers his fingers were preprogrammed to dial or use the extra hidden key to let himself in to Starsky’s. Instead, he resorted to calling on Huggy, pleading with him to check on Starsky in words raw with concern and regret. That he was hurting as much as Starsky was obvious.

So Huggy had gone to Starsky’s and let himself in with the key Hutch told him he would find. He’d roused Starsky from the tangle of clothes and twisted bedding and sent him on his way, but not without a friendly lecture peppered with worldly wise advice.

“You gotta talk to him, Hutch,” Huggy urged Hutch later, repeating much the same words he’d said to Starsky. “I’m tellin’ you, that man is hurtin’ like a junkie jonesin’ for a hit. And you know how that is,” Huggy added, not holding back on a tacit taboo.

When Hutch just glared at him, Huggy shook his head and tsked. “I’ve never seen two dudes who get off on inflicting so much pain on each other.”

“You think I wanted this to happen?” Hutch responded bitterly. “Nobody’s getting ‘off’ Hug.”

“Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you should be. Just not with a bitch like Kira.” When Hutch’s expression turned from pained to stunned, Huggy smirked.”Ain’t nothin’ wrong with admitting your feelings. The world’s not gonna end.”

As if Hutch’s world hadn’t ended already.

Hutch’s stony facade had shattered and he’d sunk down into the nearest chair. When he spoke, his voice was thick with long-suppressed emotion. “It’s too late for that. Sometimes, Hug, I feel like I’m missing half the sky. Starsky hates me.”

“What Starsky hates is bein’ without you, even though he may not say it.” Huggy laid a hand on Hutch’s shoulder. “I’ve known you two long enough to know. Right now, it’s like he’s half a man.” Huggy removed his hand then and made to leave, but not before saying, “Call him. Tell him you’ll meet him on some neutral ground where you can talk. Hell, treat him to lunch. He’s always easier to talk to with a full stomach.”

“I don’t know ….”

Huggy’s full-lipped grin turned into a grim line. “Man – I never took you for a coward. Somebody’s got to make the first move and in my book it’s got to be you. You’re the one who crossed the line. You’re the one who…“

“Okay – I get it,” Hutch snapped. But his vitriol was for himself. He knew Huggy was right.

Forget all we said that night
No, it doesn’t even matter
‘Cause we both got split in two
If you could spare an hour or so
We’ll go for lunch down by the river
We can really talk it through.*

Starsky surveyed the contents of his newly organized closet, thinking over his rearranged life. He had a big night ahead of him and wanted to get everything right, right down to his clothes.

After a careful shave and splash of cologne, he put on a stark black turtleneck and skin-tight jeans that showed off his best assets. Just before he walked out the door, he pulled on a sleek black leather jacket, pushing past his well-worn brown one. That one, he’d save for another day. He’d bought the black for just this occasion. Starsky had always considered black leather sophisticated and sexy and he needed all the confidence he could get. Because tonight, Starsky was going to meet a gorgeous blond at Huggy’s. And after that, who knew were the night would take them?

*lyrics from Half a Blue Sky recorded by One Direction

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42 Responses to December 6th- Of Blue Skies and Red Sweaters by Spencer

  1. Elaine says:

    I do enjoy reading stories that look at our guys during and immediately after Kira. I love the way she isn’t even in this story, just a prop. I also love how Huggy is the one to get the ball rolling to make it right.
    Thank you for sharing this gift.

  2. Hilly says:

    Lovely read-thank you x

  3. onna karot says:

    Lovely short story. And a very happy ending, full of promise 😉 a second part, ‘the talking’ would be amazing too.

  4. Nancy Roots says:

    Spencer! Thank you for this truly awesome story! It fills in “what happened after…” very well! LOVE it!

  5. Pat says:

    ‘Starsky held the rumpled red sweater up to his face. The damn thing gave off more warmth than the woman ever did.’ Great line, Spencer! Really nice use of the wardrobe items we know so well, and excellent mid-story! As onna karot suggests, above, Part 2 would be wonderful! Thanks for this lovely gift.

  6. Suze says:

    Beautiful, thank you

  7. Daisy Morgan says:

    Great story! I loved how Huggy was the one who understood what each was feeling and pushed them towards each other; that’s totally something Huggy would do. And I loved the part with Starsky cleaning out his closet, finding the red sweater, and sleeping with it. That was so sweet and sad!

    And the One Direction lyrics fit the story perfectly. I listened to the song just before reading it, so I would have it in the back of my mind while I read the story.

    • Spencer says:

      Thank you. I’m glad you got a chance to listen to the song. The first time I heard it I thought of Starsky and Hutch immediately. 😀

  8. Lou says:

    You story was great. I could see Starsky sleeping with the sweater! lol. Thanks.

  9. kat says:

    I really enjoyed this story. Thank you for a look into what happens after whatshername. 🙂

  10. Donna says:

    Awww Starsky sleeping with the Hutch’s sweater.. ? I love the hopefulness at the end. Such a sweet story! Thank you for sharing it!

  11. EdieCee says:

    Spencer, thank you for this look into Starsky’s head while he’s dealing with his anger at Hutch. We know he’s mad at Hutch, but we also know how much he loves the big blond lug and in the end, that they will work things out. Starsky remembering he wore the red sweater last after Terry died was sad but your dialogue about the guys “Heading to Canada like a pair of wild geese on a north wind” just cracked me up. At least they hadn’t yet got the idea to head south to Bolivia like Butch and Sundance. I’m not familiar with this song but you made excellent use of the lyrics to tell your story.

  12. Anne says:

    This was very nicely written! Both Starsky and Hutch’s pov was so well done. Thank you!

  13. Jenn C says:

    Thanks for your gift!

  14. Bertha Trusdell says:

    Beautiful and poignant. Thank you for the gift.

  15. Dawn Rice says:

    This was great, both of them reassessing what had happened, and the song lyrics fit perfectly. I’ll reread this one.

  16. Keri Ann Tomkins says:

    Beautifully written, as one would expect from a Paula Wilshe Award winner.

    Kira stories are sometimes too depressing for me, but this one is hopeful. They’re going to work it out, and the sweater memories. Just lovely.

    Thank you!

    • Spencer says:

      I’m thinking Kira was the one who made them re-evaluate their relationship and brought them closer. (It’s my story and I’m sticking to it. ) 😀

  17. Garrideb (Monica M) says:

    Circumstances being what they were, Hutch wasn’t about to call the numbers his fingers were preprogrammed to dial or use the extra hidden key to let himself in to Starsky’s.

    Excellent way of showing how strange and wrong it is for Hutch to be alienated from Starsky. I’m very glad for the hopeful ending!

  18. susan (taass64) says:

    Really nice, Spencer! You are right, that would be a great vid song. But you did an awesome job putting it to story.

  19. Mortmere says:

    Ah, that red sweater has a special place in our hearts, and I love it when writers make good use of it in a story, like you did here. I don’t know the song, but the story works great even without that context. Thanks for this lovely gift!

  20. ChocolateEgg says:

    What a great song to express what they must have been feeling.
    I love your writing, Spencer – always so many great images.
    “Heading to Canada like a pair of wild geese on a north wind.”
    “Beautiful, passionate and ambitious, together they made a perfect storm.”
    “The damn thing gave off more warmth than the woman ever did.”
    Great story!

  21. Maria (MHE) Priest says:

    What a fabulous gift! So many wonderful turns of phrase, perfect song, and Huggy-wisdom. Thanks for the emotions this evoked.

  22. M Vernet says:

    Love the red sweater. Perfect for Christmas. As always your stories are well written and poignant. Love ya, babe!

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