December 22nd- Christmas Jokes with “Stan” and “Ollie” by Daisy Morgan

Starsky: “Ollie?”
Hutch: “Yes, Stanley?”
Starsky: “How’s about we tell Captain Dobey some funny Christmas jokes? He looks like he could use a laugh.”
Hutch: “That’s a good idea, Stanley. Why don’t you go first?”
Starsky: “OK, I will. [Clears throat]…Why do mummies like the holidays so much?”
Hutch: “I don’t know, Stanley. Why?”
Starsky: “Because they’re into all the wrapping.”

Dobey: [groans]

Hutch: “I’ve got one, Stanley! Knock, knock.”
8Starsky: “Who’s there?”
Hutch: “Pizza.”
Starsky: “Pizza, who?”
Hutch: “Pizza on earth, good will toward men!”


Starsky: “Say, Ollie… I think Cap’n Dobey looks a little grumpy today. Hey, what does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?”
Hutch: “What?”
Starsky: “Baaaa humbug!”

Dobey: [rolls eyes]

Hutch: “Stanley, where do snowmen keep their money?”
Starsky: “Beats me, Ollie.”
Dobey: “I’d like to beat the [censored] outta both of you!”
Hutch: [ignores Dobey] “In a snow bank!”

Starsky: “Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?”
“Because the present’s beneath them.”


Starsky: “Ollie, I don’t think he likes these jokes. How about this one — What does Santa say at the start of a race?”
Hutch: “I don’t know, Stanley.”
Starsky: “Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Dobey: [checks his watch]

Hutch: “Oh, Stanley?”
Starsky: “Yes, Ollie?”
Hutch: “What are you giving Captain Dobey for Christmas?”
Starsky: “A list of everything I want!”


Starsky & Hutch: “Merry Christmas, Cap’n!”

Dobey: “Merry Christmas, boys.”

Starsky, Hutch, and Dobey: “Merry Christmas, everyone!”

December 11th- Huggy’s Hanukkah Humor by Daisy Morgan

Starsky: “Hey, Hutch?”

Hutch: “Yeah, Starsk?”

Starsky: “Come here, Huggy’s on the phone — says he’s got somethin’ important to tell us. Whaddya got for us, Hug?”

Huggy: “What do cows and horses light when celebrating Hanukkah?”

Starsky & Hutch: “Huh?”

Huggy: “It’s a joke. From my Big Book of Hanukkah Jokes.”

Starsky & Hutch: “Oh, okay. What’s the punchline?”

Huggy: “A ‘manure’-ah.”

Starsky & Hutch:

Huggy: “Hey, how come I don’t hear no laughin’? Don’t you guys think my joke was funny? Judging from the silence on the other end of the line, I’m guessin’ you two must be awed by my superior comedic skills. Here’s another joke…

What’s the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?”

Starsky & Hutch: [silence]

Huggy: “One is eight nights while the other ate knights. Get it – ‘ate’ knights?”

Starsky & Hutch:

Huggy: “Starsky? Hutch? You still there?”

Starsky & Hutch: “Still here, Huggy. Waitin’ for you to tell us some funny jokes.”

Huggy: “You two just don’t wanna admit that The Bear is the master of witticisms.”

Starsky & Hutch: [rolling their eyes]

Huggy: “I got one more. What do you call it when Santa doesn’t bring you any gifts?”

Starsky & Hutch: “What?”

Huggy: “Hanukkah!”

Starsky & Hutch:

Huggy: “Oh, come on now, my brothers…you know that one was funny!”

Starsky & Hutch, laughing: “Happy Hanukkah, Huggy!”