On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A [reload] cartridge to feel carefree.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five chicken wings,
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six love songs playing,
Five chicken wings,
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven meals with trimming,
Six love songs playing,
Five chicken wings,
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight bed sheets silken,
Seven meals with trimming,
Six love songs playing,
Five chicken wings,
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine nights out dancing,
Eight bed sheets silken,
Seven meals with trimming,
Six love songs playing,
Five chicken wings,
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten kisses for keeping,
Nine nights out dancing,
Eight bed sheets silken,
Seven meals with trimming,
Six love songs playing,
Five chicken wings,
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven tissues for wiping,
Ten kisses for keeping,
Nine nights out dancing,
Eight bed sheets silken,
Seven meals with trimming,
Six love songs playing,
Five chicken wings,
Four loving words,
Three eager hands,
Two looks of love,
And a cartridge to feel carefree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve times of cumming,
Eleven tissues for wiping,
Ten kisses for keeping,
Nine nights out dancing,
Eight bed sheets silken,
Seven rounds of rimming,
Sex games a-playing,
Five cock rings,
Four loving words,
Thrice swollen glans,
Two looks of love, and
Brought his package to be here with me!
Hilarious! Great job choosing the items for each verse. But best of all, changing them to sexy stuff at the end. Eleven tissues for wiping. 😂
This made me laugh. I thought you’d chickened out at first- very clever of you! Thank you.
Ha, I thought people would think I chickened out! And I hoped that everyone would either stay with me or skip to the last verse! 😄
Thanks! 😄 That took quite a bit of research and rhyming… But it was so much fun to rewrite!
🤣That was hilarious. Good job!
Thank you, glad it got a laugh!
Now this is my idea of a holiday song! Too funny! I love your imagination, KiraBerlin.
PS – I look forward to hearing you sing this at our Zoom party!
Hahah! Only if you sing with me….
omg that was hilarious!
I kept wondering why the elves labeled it NSFW, and then I read the last verse. LOL! And #12 – brilliant! I also loved “Thrice swollen glans.”
And every time I got to “five chicken wings” I could hear Starsky singing it really loudly and off-key, embarrassing Hutch!
I will never be able to listen to this song on the radio again without thinking of this “alternate” version!
And the elves’ illustration, LOL – is that a D!ck in a box?
I thought the food bits would go really well with Starsky. The rest too, obviously. Thanks for reading until the last verse!
Very cute! I enjoyed it!
Glad you had fun with this!
FUNNY!!!
Very well done!
Thank you for this perfect gift! KUDOS
Thanks! It was fun to rewrite it, though it was tricky in parts. Thanks to the elves for redirecting me on a couple of lines!
This is clever. Thank you.
What a holiday date they had for twelve days!
They’ll be exhausted by the end…
Very clever and grin-producing. Thanks!
When I got to ‘seven meals with trimming’ I snickered, then about died laughing when I got to the last verse, where lo and behold, my dirty mind was right! 🤣 Hilarious, well done KB!