Category: Not Safe for Work

Series Description: Can two masters of their own domains (now lovers) for years live together without driving each other crazy? [Apologies and thanks to Seinfeld and The Odd Couple]

Part 1:  The Kitchen

…The Dishwasher Discord…

Hutch drags Starsky into the kitchen by his shirt sleeve to stand in front of the open door of their new appliance. “Starsky! What is the matter with you? You can’t load the dishwasher like that!” Continue reading “December 24th- You Think You Know a Guy by MHE Priest & MatSir”

“Put your finger right… there.”

“Like this?” Continue reading “December 23rd- Starsky’s Finger by hardboiledbaby”

Black and white. Dark and light. Wavy and straight. Day and night.

David Starsky and Kenneth Hutchinson happened to cross paths on their first day at the Police Academy. Literally. The tall blond was rushing to the gym for roll call and not looking where he was going and collided with a mass of chocolate curls. Both dropped their Academy Intro books. They bent down to pick up the books, pages askew, and the blond head connected with the brunet’s. The brunet was about to tell the barricade that caused him to lose his supplies to open his eyes and watch where he was going, as the blond was stuttering some sort of an apology. Continue reading “December 21st- The Brass Bed & Cotton Candy by Kathy K.”

Author’s Note: In my timeline, the guys get into their relationship right after Bloodbath. That situation was the catalyst for their sexual relationship. That includes having them in a relationship after Little Girl Lost. I intentionally took liberties with the timeline of events in canon to fit this story.

Continue reading “December 16th- Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Renée/Starskinson”

Deck the halls with boughs of holly!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
‘Tis the season to be jolly!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Starsk, what are you doing?

Don we now our gay apparel

You mean the body harnesses with cock straps that we got at Uncle Elmo’s?

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Let’s read a story by Lewis Carroll

That’s not how the song goes

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

 

See the blazing lube before us

Blazing lube? That sounds unpleasant.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
My favorite dinosaur is stegosaurus

Oh brother

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Follow me to the bedroom in merry measure

I’m right behind you, buddy

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
While I engage you in sexual pleasure

I’m looking forward to it

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

 

I rip my partner’s clothes off quickly

So you’ve just given up on the actual lyrics, then?

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Even though he can be somewhat prickly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

If only you would just stop singing
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

What’s that? I think the phone is ringing

No, it’s not

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

 

Fast away the old year passes,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Let’s put the butt plugs in our asses
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Now sing we joyous, both together
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la

Both sing: AS WE WEAR THESE BONDS OF STUDS AAAANND LEATHER
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA!

Ah, that feels good, babe…

Thanks, Starsk,” Hutch said in a subdued voice, sipping from his glass of red wine. “Great dinner.”

Starsky grinned. “My pleasure.”

“And thanks for… for keeping it low key.” Hutch looked at his lover over the rim of his glass, giving Starsky a warm smile.

“I know ya aren’t a big fan of Christmas. Since we had to work until 5 today, and it being just me and you, it was easy to toss the roast into a crock-pot with enough veggies to sink a battleship.” Starsky lifted his wineglass. They clinked their glasses together.

“That’s why I love you,” Hutch said. Continue reading “December 6th- Starsky’s Song by LilyK”

“…may your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white…” Starsky sang along enthusiastically with the closing lyrics as Hutch stood up and turned off the TV.

“That’s my favorite Christmas movie. I miss havin’ a white Christmas,” he mused wistfully. “Don’t you, Hutch?”

“Sometimes. Although I don’t exactly miss the single-digit Minnesota winters or having to shovel three feet of snow off the driveway.” Hutch paused to pull something off the tree. “Trick or treat?” he asked suddenly, standing in front of the sofa where Starsky was sitting.

“You feelin’ okay, Blondie? I think you’ve mixed up your holidays.” Continue reading “December 19th- White Christmas by Daisy Morgan”

Their first Christmas in the new place — their place — and of course Hutch had to be the one to screw it up. He’d have thrown his hands up in regretful supplication if his arms hadn’t been pinned to the hospital bed by pain and plaster.

“I’m sorry, Starsk.”

“For what, giving me a heart attack?”

Starsky crossed the floor in two strides and leaned over him, forehead lined with worry, hands reaching out to touch and not knowing where to land. The left settled on his cheek, one thumb stroking under his eye, fingertips ghosting behind his ear. The briefest touch; mindful of the setting but still needed. By both of them, Hutch figured, from the faint tremble in the fingertips before they withdrew.

“I ruined Christmas,” he said simply. Continue reading “December 10th- Giftwrapped by hatstand”

“It’s really coming down out there,” Hutch says, watching from the hotel window. They’re in New York for a short visit with Starsky’s mother, brother and whatever other extended family happens to show up while they’re in the area. For privacy — not to mention sanity — they have opted for a hotel room that’s close enough for them to stop by easily but too far for her to want to pop by unexpectedly.

“Yeah. So much for the plans to go to Prospect Park,” Starsky grumbles, flopping down on the bed on his back. “It isn’t supposed to break much today, not according to the papers.” He tosses the offending section to the other bed. “I was looking forward to a trip down memory lane. We spent a lot of time there as kids. If Ma wanted to get rid of us on the weekend, she’d give us a few bucks for peanuts or whatever. If she really wanted us gone for a while, she’d give us enough for the zoo.” Continue reading “December 4th- Chrysalism by Suburbanboho”