{"id":67,"date":"2022-11-20T16:38:27","date_gmt":"2022-11-20T16:38:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/?p=67"},"modified":"2022-12-05T05:44:41","modified_gmt":"2022-12-05T05:44:41","slug":"december-5th-muffin-tops-by-daisy-morgan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/?p=67","title":{"rendered":"December 5th: Muffin Tops by Daisy Morgan"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u2026fuckmuffins!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch turned his head toward the sound of his partner\u2019s sudden angry outburst and quickly hid the smirk on his face, lest his red-faced partner direct his ire toward him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Starsk? Did you forget to add seasonings to the sauce?\u201d It took a concerted effort to make the expression on his face look as serious as possible.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, dummy, I did not forget to add seasonings. I forgot to turn down the heat, and now the sauce has turned into a dried up glop of tomato carcasses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomewhere in there is a striped tomato joke, but damn if I can come up with one right now. I think the hunger might be getting to me. You\u2019ve been slaving over that sauce for hours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think you\u2019re hungry? How do ya think I feel? I\u2019m starved! I was really lookin\u2019 forward to having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that the recipe you got from your friend Dimitry at the bowling league?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, a guy at my uncle\u2019s car dealership gave it to me. He swears by it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch watched as Starsky looked longingly around the kitchen. \u201cNow what are we gonna eat for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere did you come up with fuckmuffin as an expletive, anyway? I\u2019ve never heard it used in that context before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know. I musta heard someone say it in a past life. But whaddya mean, \u2018in that context\u2019? What other context is there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe word has, um, shall we say\u2026sexual<\/em> connotations. Usually involving pastry dough, a kitchen table, and at least one orifice.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Hutch suspected, Starsky\u2019s interest seemed to pique at this revelation.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course\u2026\u201d Hutch continued, \u201cit\u2019s also used as a term of endearment for the person you want to fuck. But you can\u2019t use it with just any person,\u201d he added mischievously, enjoying himself as he teased his partner.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you have to be in love with the person to use it. Which is why I\u2019ve never used it with you.\u201d Hutch accompanied this proclamation with his best deadpan expression.<\/p>\n

\u201cHaha, very funny. All this talk of muffins is makin\u2019 me even hungrier.\u201d Starsky looked around the room again. \u201cThe kitchen table? Maybe I\u2019ll have you for dinner, my beautiful blond fuckmuffin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I can arrange that.\u201d Hutch sidled up beside Starsky and pushed him gently toward the table, haphazardly pushing the chairs out of the way. \u201cWhich do you prefer? The muffin top? Or the bottom?\u201d He punctuated the question by pressing his mouth against Starsky\u2019s mouth and his hand against the groin of Starsky\u2019s jeans, sliding his hand underneath his partner\u2019s crotch until it found Starsky\u2019s lush ass.<\/p>\n

\u201cMmm, they\u2019re both delicious,\u201d Starsky murmured in between kisses and moans, \u201cbut I think I\u2019ll choose the top tonight. Why don\u2019t you bend over the table so I can take you from behind?\u201d As he started to turn Hutch around, Hutch suddenly got cold feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute, partner, maybe we should think this through. Fucking my muffin on the kitchen table isn\u2019t exactly sanitary, ya know? We should probably move to the bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo way. We have our chosen orifice, and although we don\u2019t have any pastry dough, we have a perfectly good kitchen table right here. We can just cover it with a towel or something. Besides, only the front of you will be touchin\u2019 the table.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch considered this for a moment. \u201cOkay, cowboy, we\u2019ll do it your way.\u201d He waltzed across the room to the bathroom and returned with a towel, which he carefully spread over the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut first,\u201d Starsky cooed, kneeling down in front of Hutch and sliding the zipper down on Hutch\u2019s jeans, \u201cis the appetizer course.\u201d He pushed Hutch\u2019s underwear down to his thighs and took the semi-erect cock in his mouth, slowly savoring it with his tongue as Hutch moaned appreciatively.<\/p>\n

Not wanting to blow his wad before the entr\u00e9e course was served, Hutch reluctantly eased Starsky off him. \u201cReady when you are, partner.\u201d He reached a hand down and pulled Starsky up. After a long, passionate kiss, Hutch dutifully turned away, leaning his chest on the top of the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay right there,\u201d Starsky commanded. \u201cJust gotta get the lube.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch heard Starsky\u2019s footsteps moving towards the bedroom and called after him. \u201cHey, Starsk? You don\u2019t need to get the Vaseline.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you crazy, Hutch? I\u2019m not gonna do this without lube.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I meant since we\u2019re in the kitchen, you can just use Crisco. That will complete the setup \u2013 pastry, kitchen table, orifice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI must have missed somethin\u2019, because I don\u2019t see any pastry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a metaphor, Starsk. I\u2019m the pastry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what\u2019s the Crisco?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Crisco keeps the pastry from sticking to the pan.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHutch, you need to shut up now and let me fuck you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just pointing out\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cShut it, blondie!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch stopped talking.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ready, babe? I\u2019m all slathered up and ready to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReady. I want you inside me right now, lover.\u201d<\/p>\n

Starsky pressed his groin against Hutch\u2019s backside as Hutch took a deep breath, and soon Hutch could feel hard muscle, slick from the shortening, thrusting itself deep inside him.<\/p>\n

As Starsky filled him from behind, Hutch closed his eyes and let himself imagine his partner behind him…the blissful expression on Starsky\u2019s face, the muscles in Starsky\u2019s torso contracting with every thrust, his ass clenching as he pushed himself back and forth inside Hutch\u2019s rectum.<\/p>\n

After a few minutes, Hutch could hear the cadence of Starsky\u2019s breathing change, and he knew it meant that Starsky was close to climax. And as Starsky\u2019s moans became louder as he pitched over the edge, Hutch let himself go, joining his partner in sublime ecstasy.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

As Hutch lay contentedly sprawled across the table, Starsky leaned over him and pressed a series of light kisses against the back of Hutch\u2019s neck, seemingly not minding the sweat that glistened there.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou taste terrific,\u201d Starsky murmured into Hutch\u2019s ear, \u201cbut is there anything in the fridge we can eat? You got any salami?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just ate my salami.\u201d Hutch snickered.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I have an idea. There\u2019s another meaning of fuckmuffin I forgot to mention earlier.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a pastry that\u2019s made right after sex.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you were the pastry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was, but that was before. We still need to make some actual pastry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Starsky eyed his partner dubiously. \u201cYou expectin\u2019 us to use the Crisco when we make this pastry?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, if we don\u2019t want it to stick to the pan. I assume you didn\u2019t dip your wick directly into it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhaddya think I am, some kind of cretin? So what are we makin\u2019? Besides love, that is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell first, I need you to get off me. Lying on this table is giving me a crick in my neck.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, sorry.\u201d Starsky rolled off Hutch and helped him up. After they cleaned up the table and themselves, Hutch perused the fridge as he pulled out some butter, eggs, and milk. Reaching for the shelf above the stove, he grabbed the canisters of flour and sugar, spreading out the ingredients on the kitchen counter along with some baking powder, the salt shaker and the Crisco.<\/p>\n

There was just one more ingredient he needed, but the fridge was devoid of the objects of his desire. Then he got an idea.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe back in a minute\u2026don\u2019t go anywhere!\u201d Hutch strode confidently toward the door and was down the stairs in a flash before Starsky had time to wonder where he was going. He returned momentarily, triumphantly holding a pint of luscious fresh-picked blueberries. \u201cYou know, it\u2019s really convenient having a French restaurant downstairs. You can always count on them serving blueberry galette.\u201d<\/p>\n

He plopped the pint of berries down on the counter and, whistling merrily, proceeded to rummage in the cabinets and drawers as he gathered up the mixing supplies.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t see any blueberry galette.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would you? I didn\u2019t get any.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you said you did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say that. I merely said they were serving<\/em> blueberry galette.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tryin\u2019 to jerk my chain, Hutch?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we already took care of that, partner, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo whaddya doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m making blueberry muffins, what\u2019s it look like?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt looks like breakfast. What happened to dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStarsk, need I remind you that you burned our dinner down to an unrecognizable mass? We\u2019re lucky to have anything to eat at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember. But you coulda brought back some real food from Chez Helene, ya know. Like maybe some Chatoo Brianna.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour Spanish is improving.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, taste this.\u201d Hutch picked out a plump, luscious blueberry and pushed it into Starsky\u2019s mouth, letting his fingers roll on the tip of Starsky\u2019s tongue before he withdrew them.<\/p>\n

\u201cMmm. Can I have another?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch smiled and fed his partner another blueberry.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know somethin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Hutch picked up another berry.<\/p>\n

\u201cNext time I wanna have spaghetti and meatballs, you should talk me out of it, so we can have fuckmuffins and blueberries instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,10,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-67","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-nsfw","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":371,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions\/371"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=67"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=67"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2022\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}