{"id":111,"date":"2023-12-12T05:22:54","date_gmt":"2023-12-12T05:22:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/?p=111"},"modified":"2023-12-12T05:22:54","modified_gmt":"2023-12-12T05:22:54","slug":"december-12th-because-i-knew-you-by-dawnwind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/?p=111","title":{"rendered":"December 12th: Because I Knew You by Dawnwind"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve heard it said,
\nThat people come into our lives for a reason
\nBringing something we must learn.<\/em><\/p>\n

And we are led to those
\nWho help us most to grow if we let them.
\nAnd we help them in return.<\/em><\/p>\n

Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
\nBut I know I’m who I am today
\nBecause I knew you.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Stephan Schwartz<\/em><\/p>\n

Grabbing the last two grocery bags, Hutch mounted the steps to Starsky\u2019s apartment. As always, he imagined he was a mountain climber on a trek up Everest, hiking past the tree growing through the deck and into the open front door.<\/p>\n

Starsky had left his bags on the floor near the kitchen without unpacking them. He was hunched in abject despair at the dining room table, staring down at a letter. A rectangular piece of paper dangled from his left hand as if he wasn\u2019t sure it was real or not.<\/p>\n

Hutch deposited his load on the kitchen counter before brushing a consoling palm over Starsky\u2019s slumped shoulders. \u201cWhat did you find in the mail?\u201d<\/p>\n

Offering up the check, Starsky inhaled, tears glinting in his eyes. \u201cFrom Terri\u2019s family.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwenty-four thousand dollars?\u201d Hutch read the amount on the check, totally understanding Starsky\u2019s stunned expression. \u201cWhat is this for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019remember how Terri used to buy a quart a milk every day?\u201d Starsky\u2019s voice was lanced through with jagged pain.<\/p>\n

Impossible to forget. Her murderer, Prudholm, had vowed to hurt Starsky for the arrest and subsequent death of his drug-addicted son years earlier. Starsky\u2019s girlfriend, Terri Roberts, would purchase milk at the local market at same time each evening. Prudholm had followed her to the grocery to gun her down in cold blood. A single shot to the head. She\u2019d lived for a few days more, going blind before dying.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Hutch pushed another chair closer to Starsky, taking his friend\u2019s hand as he sat, trying not to obsess on the melting mint chip ice cream in the brown bag on the counter. This was far more important. \u201cSeemed like a lot of milk for one very slender, lovely lady.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019d laugh and toast me with a glassful. Called it moo juice.\u201d Starsky squeezed Hutch\u2019s hand in mutual comfort, pinching the bridge of his nose to stall the tears. \u201cBut in reality, she didn\u2019t drink it all herself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou poured chocolate into the blender and made milkshakes for the both of you?\u201d Hutch laughed past the rock in his throat. Terri had been one in a million. A smart, funny, incredibly empathetic woman who would give her heart for her friends and the kids she taught. She should never have been murdered. Whether she and Starsky would have remained a couple was the question that could never be resolved. So many circumstances had changed since then.<\/p>\n

\u201cMarshall School runs on a shoestring budget.\u201d<\/p>\n

Could have been a complete non-sequitur but Hutch waited him out, well aware of Starsky\u2019s tendency to meander around a subject.<\/p>\n

\u201cTerri\u2014\u201d Starsky shrugged.<\/p>\n

His crooked smile broke Hutch\u2019s heart and shored up something vital inside him, all at the same time. He would always love Terri Roberts. They both would.<\/p>\n

\u201cTerri would bring snacks for the entire class, and lunch for about half of them,\u201d Starsky said softly. \u201cShe didn\u2019t want anyone to know that a lot of those kids didn\u2019t get enough to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn.\u201d Hutch decided to rescue the mint chip before it turned into a liquid. Starsky needed the pick-me-up of something sweet.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019d buy day-old bread at the bakery and grew some veggies in a tiny plot behind her building, all for their lunches,\u201d Starsky continued. \u201cI\u2014\u201d He visually tracked Hutch going into the kitchen and pull bowls from the cupboard.<\/p>\n

\u201cIce cream?\u201d Hutch held out the carton with a giant green mint leaf freckled with chocolate chips on the front.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways knew the way to a guy\u2019s heart,\u201d Starsky said fondly, his grief obviously folded back into the little drawer he kept it in most of the time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you.\u201d Hutch scooped up the soft treat, adding a dollop of chocolate sauce to Starsky\u2019s. That was de rigueur<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf nothing else, Terri\u2019s generosity to these kids who had so little was what grabbed me.\u201d Starsky dug his spoon into the sundae while Hutch stowed all the frozen goods they had bought into the freezer. \u201cWhen my pop died\u2026\u201d he continued, licking his lips after a large bite.<\/p>\n

Hutch turned to watch him. Starsky had chocolate on his lower lip. A huge part of him wanted to lean over and tongue his mouth clean, but Hutch contented himself with eating his own ice cream.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t have much.\u201d Starsky waggled his hand. \u201cMa got a job, working as a secretary for\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDurniak.\u201d Hutch had heard part of the story when they\u2019d gone undercover as truck drivers to escort the mobster to testify in a court case, only to have Durniak fatally shot before the trial.<\/p>\n

Starsky nodded ruefully. \u201cIt didn\u2019t pay much, not what pop had earned as an accountant.\u201d<\/p>\n

An accountant who\u2019d purposefully overlooked inaccuracies in Durniak\u2019s finances until he couldn\u2019t hide the truth any longer. Which had gotten him murdered.<\/p>\n

So many deaths in Starsky\u2019s life, so many people he loved gunned down right in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa didn\u2019t tell anybody that we couldn\u2019t get by.\u201d Starsky stirred the soupy green and brown mixture in his bowl. \u201cShe wasn\u2019t going to owe Joe for more than the funeral, so Nicky and me went to school without lunch. Sometimes not much breakfast or dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch\u2019s heart clenched. No wonder Starsky always wanted to eat. Hutch had been raised in, if not abundant wealth, at least ample plenty. There had always been food for each meal, plus frequent parties to wine and dine his father\u2019s constituents. He and Karen had never known such struggle.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then I got into some stuff.\u201d Starsky raised an eloquent eyebrow, clearly inferring what the unnamed stuff might have been. \u201cSo Ma put her foot down, called her sister in California and shipped me out so fast I didn\u2019t have time to wave good-bye to anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich kept you safe from the gangs,\u201d Hutch concluded, reaching out to touch Starsky\u2019s sleeve. He\u2019d never taken off the leather jacket he\u2019d worn against the early December weather. The brown cowhide was smooth as silk under Hutch\u2019s fingers.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd one less mouth to feed on her salary.\u201d Starsky sighed. \u201cI was so fucking angry for being sent away that I didn\u2019t consider what it did to her\u2014to Nicky. John Blaine helped turn me around about a year later. He was a friend of my uncle\u2019s, and coached a baseball team in the summer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBlaine\u2019s a good man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cT\u2019make a long story shorter\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch hadn\u2019t minded a bit. He loved learning more about Starsky\u2019s past, painful or not.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen Terri\u2019s brother contacted me a couple months ago, after they\u2019d flown her body back to the family burial plot,\u201d he grimaced as if talking about the subject was like walking through a minefield. \u201cHe asked me what kinda contribution he could make in her name.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwenty-four thousand dollars,\u201d Hutch marveled. \u201cThat will feed the kids for a year, maybe more if they get decent prices for the food.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Terri Roberts Free Meal Fund.\u201d Starsky tapped the check reverently. \u201cI already talked to Marshall School, and so did Bob Roberts\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHis name was Robert Roberts?\u201d Hutch snickered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe third.\u201d Starsky pointed at the elegant Roman numeral after Roberts\u2019 flourish on the check\u2019s signature line. \u201cRobert, Suzanna, and Theresa. Terri was the youngest. Said her mother liked the alphabetical thing, R, S, T.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure the school is ecstatic to have that endowment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI figure that if they do some fundraisin\u2019,\u201d Starsky said, taking his bowl to the sink to rinse it out. He poked at the other bags, unpacking white beans, onions, and a big bag of crunchy Bugles. \u201cLike sell See\u2019s candy or, I don\u2019t know, what do kids sell? Not Girl Scout cookies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKaren\u2019s daughter sold popcorn last year, remember?\u201d Hutch said, joining him. \u201cDo not open those snacks\u2014I was going to make soup.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThose beans\u2019ll take hours to soak,\u201d Starsky protested, stashing the Bugles in the cupboard.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnion soup, dummy,\u201d Hutch said, joy in his heart. \u201cSo start chopping like you\u2019re Julia Child.\u201d<\/p>\n

Flipping him the bird with an eloquent eye roll, Starsky hauled out a chopping board and a sharp knife while Hutch found the other two onions in a second bag. Very soon, the pungent, eye watering aroma of cut onions permeated the small room. Hutch blinked, his eyes stinging. Funny, he hadn\u2019t planned on causing them both to tear up, but the fates had paralleled his desire for the quintessential French dish, giving them a reason to cry.<\/p>\n

Losing Terri had been a devastating blow for Starsky. His second serious girlfriend to be murdered in fourteen months. That he and Helen hadn\u2019t been together anymore had not made her death any easier to deal with. He and Terri had been a couple for only a few months, meeting while Hutch was on medical leave with a broken femur. Prudholm using Terri as bait to get to Starsky had made the situation even more dire, and stabbed Starsky with guilt.<\/p>\n

Had that caused him to turn to Hutch, or would they have come together eventually? That night they\u2019d opened Terri\u2019s gifts, drunk and morose at midnight, playing Monopoly, had ended in mutual comforting. Which led to cuddling and then sex. Hutch hadn\u2019t expected it to go past that. They\u2019d both indulged in the occasional hand-job or frottage to release pent-up adrenaline after a stressful case, but that was\u2026 Hutch had never been sure what to call those nights. He\u2019d simply been grateful and cherished their recent time together.<\/p>\n

It felt very different since Terri. More like they were in a relationship. He didn\u2019t quite trust this to last forever, although he wanted it to, very much. There was too much at stake. Their careers as cops. To be seen as queer could bring condemnation, at the very least, or even worse: their fellow cops turning their backs when Starsky and Hutch needed assistance. Which could prove fatal.<\/p>\n

No, he had to be content with Starsky most of the time, but never quite his lover forever, that was how it had to be.<\/p>\n

Starsky sniffed, rubbing his finger under his nose before sneezing. \u201cAll chopped,\u201d he said soggily, washing onion oil off his hands. \u201cYou gonna make those cheesy croutons?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t be onion soup a le Fran\u00e7oise without cheesy croutons,\u201d Hutch scoffed, immensely glad Starsky had moved past his lingering sadness and guilt over Terri\u2019s demise, at least for the evening.<\/p>\n

Wielding his knife again, Starsky sliced up a loaf of French bread. Hutch dumped the onions into a frying pan to caramelize the large pile. He passed the Gruyere over to his partner for more cutting.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long does this take to cook?\u201d Starsky leaned casually against the sink, munching on a piece of cheese. He still looked shell-shocked and weary, but the tears had dried up.<\/p>\n

\u201cAn hour.\u201d Hutch poked at the sizzling onions with his spatula, trying not to be completely distracted by Starsky\u2019s long, slender torso and the outline of his cock through his tight jeans. There was many a time when they were investigating crimes that he could ignore Starsky\u2019s allure, but not when they were at Starsky\u2019s house.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe got some time.\u201d Starsky looked up at him through dark, fringed eyelashes.<\/p>\n

So it was going to be that kind of night. Like Pavlov\u2019s dog, that one glance had Hutch\u2019s groin tinglingly immediately. \u201cBedroom?\u201d he asked breathlessly. \u201cUh\u2026I have to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFinish caramelizing, add t\u2019onions to the stock and put on a low simmer,\u201d Starsky said mischievously, turning the final word into an inuendo filled tease. \u201cI know. Maybe I\u2019ll pull back the coverlet and get naked.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do that.\u201d Hutch gulped, checking the onions for the perfect brownness. Maybe he wouldn\u2019t pass muster with the famed French Chef Julia, but the saut\u00e9 looked good enough for him. Rapidly stirring the mess of onions into already warming chicken broth, he added the spices and clanged a lid on the pot.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d Starsky murmured, welcoming him into the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, still wearing socks, but otherwise nude, with his arms clasped around his bent knees.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey.\u201d Hutch kissed him gently on the mouth, sensing Starsky\u2019s banked lust.<\/p>\n

Starsky shivered at his touch, angling his head for another kiss.<\/p>\n

\u201cChilly, babe?\u201d Hutch asked, pulling the coverlet up over Starsky\u2019s shoulders. The melancholia had returned in the time it took to finish the soup. \u201cIt is December.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shaking his head, Starsky leaned into Hutch, stroking the hand lingering on his right arm. \u201cI keep thinking that I asked Terri to marry me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch nodded. There was nothing more for him to add from his perspective. It had happened, and passed, like his marriage to Vanessa. Like so many other events in their lives.<\/p>\n

\u201cCause, y\u2019know, she was dying.\u201d Starsky shuddered, his jaw clenched. \u201cAnd I was\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBereft.\u201d Hutch breathed out, holding onto him tightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo Goddamned afraid to let her go,\u201d Starsky said very softly. \u201cAnd so angry at Prudholm. I didn\u2019t let any other thoughts interfere until\u2026\u201d He raised both hands as if appealing so some higher power. \u201cShe died.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nodding, Hutch listened.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then you and me got drunk, and played monopoly, and opened her presents.\u201d Starsky gave him a lop-sided smile. \u201cI knew then. I\u2019d loved her, for a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA very precious minute,\u201d Hutch amended. Gillian, lost over a year ago, was still safely in his memory. He\u2019d had his own precious minutes and mourned them.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut there was you.\u201d Starsky spread his fingers, palm to Hutch\u2019s blue sweatered chest, directly over his heart. \u201cYou\u2019re my everything, Hutch. I couldn\u2019t go on if you weren\u2019t in my life, with me, in me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hutch blinked, gazing at the man he loved. \u201cWe have our minutes, and then there\u2019s us, alone.\u201d He embraced Starsky, squashing Starsky\u2019s hand between them so that it was kind of awkward and very important to his soul.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you always, Captain America,\u201d Starsky whispered into his ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight back at you.\u201d Hutch chuckled. \u201cDoes Captain A have a sidekick?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am not your sidekick!\u201d Starsky retorted, wriggling his hand free to smack Hutch\u2019s upper arm. \u201cI\u2019m Superman\u2014or Batman, can never decide.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a hint of tears glistening on his eyelashes but if he was bantering, he was leveling out.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpiderman,\u201d Hutch declared, rapidly depleting his knowledge of superheroes. \u201cYou\u2019re limber.\u201d<\/p>\n

Starsky scootched his hands under Hutch\u2019s sweater, lifting it over his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd talented,\u201d Hutch continued, wrestling to get the sweater completely off.<\/p>\n

Starsky immediately attached like a limpet, molding himself into Hutch, kissing and suckling on warm Hutchinson skin.<\/p>\n

Lying back against the pillows, Hutch unzipped his fly, giving his erection freedom. Starsky worked his way up to Hutch\u2019s mouth, breathing in Hutch\u2019s exhalation, kissing him passionately.<\/p>\n

Taking task in hand, Hutch paired Starsky\u2019s thick cock with his own. It took very little friction to generate heat through his entire body, ratcheting up his arousal and need. From the way Starsky stiffened, widening his legs to give Hutch more room to speed up the process, Starsky was as close to orgasm as he was.<\/p>\n

The resulting orgasm was breathtaking in the most satisfying way. Hutch felt the tingly vibrations extend to his toes, Starsky clinging to him hard enough that his fingers were digging into Hutch\u2019s muscles as he came.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was\u2026\u201d Hutch ran out of words to express the wonderfulness of his climax.<\/p>\n

\u201cBest of all.\u201d Starsky rolled off him so that they were curled into each other.<\/p>\n

Hutch pulled up the covers and they both snoozed. The cooking timer roused him. Starsky was already sitting on the side of the bed, fishing around for some jeans.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll put cheese on the bread and toast it,\u201d Starsky said. \u201cYou want a shower?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want that blasted alarm off.\u201d Hutch had never completely removed his slacks, so it was easy to dash into the kitchen and silence the infernal beeping. Passing the table, he saw the check from the Roberts family on top of the unopened mail.<\/p>\n

Partially dressed, Starsky went into to assemble the ingredients for the melted cheese on French bread that was so essential for a spectacular onion soup.<\/p>\n

\u201cStarsk,\u201d Hutch said, reducing the heat under the soup. \u201cYou remember my grandfather died last year.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep.\u201d Starsky elbowed him aside to open the hot oven door without burning either one of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mother called the other day to say the lawyer has finished establishing the trusts for me and my sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow.\u201d Starsky popped the top on a root beer and guzzled some. \u201cYou rich now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I kinda have been\u2014we all knew these trusts would eventually be divvied out.\u201d Hutch looked out the window at the tangle of Live Oak trees behind Starsky\u2019s house. His grandfather loved the outdoors, planting and nurturing growth. He would have loved exploring this area of Southern California known as the canyons. \u201cI want to give a donation to the\u2026 what\u2019d you call it? The Terry Roberts\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFree Meal Fund,\u201d Starsky finished, staring at him with grateful awe. \u201cYou\u2019d do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course. For Sally and all those sweet kids Terri loved so much.\u201d Hutch nudged Starsky with his hip, filching the bottle of root beer. \u201cMostly, because it means so much to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Starsky\u2019s smile could have powered all of Bay City for years to come. \u201cJust think what they could do with forty-eight thousand dollars! They could eat breakfast and dinner.\u201d He leaned into Hutch\u2019s shoulder, putting an arm around his waist. \u201cYou\u2019re my hero, Captain America.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLove you, Spiderman.\u201d<\/p>\n

Because I knew you
\nI have been changed
\nFor good<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Click on the image to view it larger.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve heard it said, That people come into our lives for a reason Bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those Who help us most to grow if we let them. And we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true But I know I’m who I … Continue reading “December 12th: Because I Knew You by Dawnwind”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,9,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-nsfw","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":593,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions\/593"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/advent.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2023\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}