Another night, unbridled sex,
all sweaty skinned and steamy pecs,
my man and I upon the rug,
about to have another tug,
but what is this, his willy gone?
There’s nothing there to sit upon!
Down to Ann Summers I must go,
but when I ask they say ‘oh no,
right out of stock of willies dear
new ones are coming out next year’.
All down at heart and down at heel,
frustrated I begin to feel,
to get another willy-now?
And then I thought ‘imagination-you know how,
the Farmer’s Market go, make haste’,
with not a single sec to waste,
right there before me red and hot,
enticing, naughty ‘pepper pot’,
a-peeping out beneath it’s sheath,
I licked my lips and bared my teeth,
‘I’ll have a bunch of those’ I said,
got home and tucked them ‘neath the bed,
while in the dark we huff and puff,
my man shouts out ‘that’s quite enough,
just get that porno pepper out!’
I grabbed one that was firm and stout,
(how did he know I would secrete
this naughty little sex toy treat?!)
Well, since that night things get real hot,
just me, my man and ‘pepper pot’.
‘but what is this, his willy gone? There’s nothing there to sit upon!’ Hahahahaha! I’m surprised that Hutch would go for something that hot. Oh, wait. No I’m not. Love it!
Glad you enjoyed xxxxx
Oh my goodness, Hilly! That’s quite a “hot” Hutch! 🌶️🔥
Hot is the word x
And there was me thinking H didn’t like spicy things! Thank you.
Variety is the spice of life they say x
Is this not just the best? Hilly, it’s still making me laugh, Thank You! And Thank You to the elves for that visual! After the stories and pics in this calendar, food shopping is going to be a lot more fun.
xxxxx
I’d never heard of these and don’t think I’ve ever seen one (nor even a picture of one) but doubt that I’ll be able to forget them, now. Wow! Thanks, Hilly (I think).
Happy Holidays
You too my lovely xxxxx
HAHAHA. Very nice gift, Hilly! Thank you!
LOL! Oh goodness but that was funny. Thanks!
Elves, that photo! *dies laughing*
That image is of a real pepper that can be grown in any garden that can grow peppers.
xxxxx
omg that was great! LOL!
And I also love the rhymes and the rhythm and meter.
Thank you xxxx
Hilly, this is so funny and creative. “firm and stout,” haha! Thank you, and happy holidays !
I laughed until i HURT! This was funny and sexy and rauncy. I loved it!
You’re a riot, Hilly!
Thanks so much!
Oh Hilly, this rocks! I think the tone you’ve achieved is just *chef’s kiss* Thanks so much!
Not sure what Ann Summers is, but those peppers sure do look like they were intended for the job! lol.
Hilarious and clever, Hilly. Thanks so much for the grin this gave me.
Illo Elves: you keep outdoing yourselves. Need to look for those peppers at the Farmers’ Market this spring and summer.