December 16th- For One… Not Thousands by Lisa A

Many thanks to Keri T for her patience in editing and teaching me about POV.

Please don’t die.  The prayer kept repeating in his mind. Please don’t die. Starsky had found Callendar yesterday, brought him in to the ER and the doctors had taken his blood hours ago. Hutch had already been given one round of the antidote, but his recovery was slow-going. Starsky stood outside of Hutch’s room, looking at him through the window. Hutch was wearing an oxygen mask instead of being under the oxygen tent, but still looked like he was struggling for every breath. Why doesn’t he seem any better?

This can’t be it, he thought. Not when we were so close to finally admitting the truth to each other. They had been gradually moving in the direction Starsky had dreamed of for so long. He and Hutch had danced around it and just a few days ago, he knew it would happen soon. The looks between them were becoming more intense, the touches lasting longer and happening more often than usual. Then Hutch got the plague and Starsky’s world shattered.

Dr. Judith Kaufman walked up and stood next to Starsky, watching Hutch through the glass.

“Why isn’t he improving more? He’s had the antidote,” Starsky asked, turning his head away from Hutch to look at her.

“His body has been through a lot, David,” she replied. “It will take time. He was just given the antidote last night. We’ve already been able to remove him from the tent. But if we need to, we’ll give him another dose.”

“How long do you have to wait? Can’t you give it to him now?” Starsky asked, distressed.

“It’s been less than twenty-four hours. Let the medicine do its work. We’ve given it to other patients and they are responding. Hutch’s symptoms were just a little more advanced, so it will take longer for him to come around,” she answered.

“I want to go in and see him,” Starsky said determinedly.

“He still may be contagious.” Judith looked at Starsky.

“Then put me in a gown and mask like last time. He needs to know he’s going to be okay.” Starsky knew if he could touch Hutch and tell him he had been given the antidote, then Hutch would know he needed to keep fighting, for him—for them.

After a pause, Judith agreed. “Okay. But just for a moment.”

She led him to the ante-room and helped Starsky into gown, gloves and mask. As she made to walk in with him, he asked, “I need to see him alone, please?”

“I’ll wait right here,” Judith acknowledged.

Starsky walked in and the door closed behind him. He hesitated for a second. Hutch looked so sick, so tortured. Starsky took the final steps that took him to Hutch’s side. He immediately reached out and took one of Hutch’s hands into his and with his other hand, brushed the sweaty blond hair out of Hutch’s eyes. He sat on the bed, his hip pressed up against his friend’s.

“Hey partner,” Starsky whispered. “It’s me.”

Hutch took a labored breath. His eyes were still closed.

“Hutch,” Starsky said, louder. “Hutch, we got him. We got Callendar. The docs took his blood and shot you up with the good stuff. You’re gonna be okay, but you have to know that, Hutch. You have to hear me.” Starsky gripped Hutch’s hand harder. Hutch turned his head towards Starsky and his eyelids fluttered.

“Did you hear me? You’re gonna be okay—you’re gonna get better. Can you open your eyes for me?”

Starsky waited. Hutch’s eyes blinked and opened. Starsky could tell he was trying to focus. After a few seconds, Hutch’s eyes latched onto Starsky’s.

“Starsk?” Hutch whispered.

“Yeah, babe. I’m here. I’m here. We got Callendar and the docs have already given you the antidote. Do you understand me? Just nod, don’t try to talk.”

Hutch looked at him, then gave a small nod. “Got him…” he said weakly, a small smile showing under the oxygen mask.

“Yes, got him. You’re safe.” Starsky couldn’t help the tears that suddenly sprang into his eyes. Hutch couldn’t see his smile because of Starsky’s mask, but he had to know, even through Starsky’s tears, that he was smiling.

Hutch tried to take a deep breath, then started coughing. Luckily the coughing did not develop into spasms and he quieted within a few seconds, breathing hard.

Starsky’s hand that had been stroking his hair, moved to Hutch’s face. “Take it easy, buddy. Just breathe.”

“Need to…tell you…” Hutch started to say. Starsky saw the desperate need in Hutch’s eyes to say something to him.

“I know. I need to tell you, too. But we now have all the time in the world. You need to concentrate on gettin’ better, so when you get outta here, we can show-and-tell each other everything.” Starsky tried to keep his voice steady. They were getting closer.

“Have to…say it. Love you, Starsk…” Hutch managed to complete that sentence and Starsky thought it looked like it took everything out of him.

Starsky’s left thumb caressed Hutch’s cheek, the rest of his hand resting on Hutch’s neck. “I love you, too, babe. I always have.”

Hutch smiled and nodded slightly. Starsky lowered his head more, getting even closer. “Now close those beautiful blue eyes and get some sleep. The quicker you recover, the quicker I can take you home.”

Starsky felt like his heart was trying to jump out of his chest—it was beating so hard and felt so full. They had said it, they had admitted it. The love had always been there, right from the start. It had just been taken to the next level. The person he had been searching for his whole life had been right beside him for years. He knew he would never take anything in life for granted again.

Starsky was so engrossed in watching Hutch that he was startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and Judith was standing next to him, coming in from the ante-room.

“You need to leave now, David. He needs to rest.”

Starsky looked back down and saw that Hutch’s eyes were closed and he had fallen back to sleep. Starsky gave a final squeeze to Hutch’s hand and stood up. He walked with Judith back to the ante-room and she helped him out of his gown.

“You didn’t track down Mr. Callendar to save the people in this city. You did it just to save him.” Judith looked directly into Starsky’s eyes. He didn’t understand the look on her face.

Not caring what Judith thought, he said, “He would have done the same for me. It’s what we do.” He knew the truth of it and so did Hutch. Starsky didn’t care about other people’s opinions of him. Hutch’s opinion was the only one that mattered.

“He means a great deal to you.” It was a statement, he noted, not a question.

“He does. He’s my partner.” Starsky’s eyes softened.

Judith placed her hand on his arm. “Then go home and rest for a while. We’ll take good care of him for now, so you can take him home as soon as possible.”

Starsky stared at her for a few moments. He looked back at Hutch on the bed, then back to Judith. She smiled and nodded at him, and he felt that even if she didn’t understand the depth of the feelings they had for each other, at least she respected their friendship and their partnership.

Starsky smiled and turned and left the ante-room, feeling much better than he had when he came in. Hutch was going to be okay. He knew it now. His prayers had been answered. And he knew that they had a future—together.